War of the Roses/Dude, Where's My Carr?

Ah, the high school play. Everyone wants to be the lead character, no one wants to be the costume designer. And what story would be better on a high school play than "The Age of Innocence"? That film which won the Academy Award for costume design, and where we thought Winona Ryder was klepto. The film was based from a book, which I thought everyone read in LIT 104 class, only that our class didn't read it. We stayed on more lurid tales such as Oedipus, which is probably the inspiration of Josef Fritzl.

Where did we left off? The last recap was over a quarter of a year ago, where Dan was a brooding... well, he just broods. A lot has happened since then; Serena met a guy with crappy hair, fell in love with him, planned a trip to South America with him (Dan sure knows his geography), ditched him at the airport, went back with Dan, who flirted with a really CUTE teacher, whom Blair exposed them a la Vanessa Abrams to the school PTA. Dan apologized, and he made kinky stuff with the REALLY CUTE teacher.

And Blair? She has been through a lot, chasing Chuck all around the five boroughs, chased Bart's limo that caused him to die, causing Chuck to become a vampire and possessed powers on Edward Cullen had. Since Blair doesn't come from a desert climate, she quit Chuck after seeing him sucking the blood out of one Jack Bass, and instead stalked Dan Humphrey with a passion never before seen since they turned the brunette Nikki Reed into a blonde vampire, and saw him and THE REALLY CUTE TEACHER touching each other's hair, which caused Dan to do the nasty WITH THE REALLY CUTE TEACHER.

And the boys? After Blair caused Bart's death, Chuck has been chasing around some random strawberry blonde (who is not even hot) whom he saw after he had hallucinations after visiting Nate's dad.

How about Nate? Playing tonsil hockey with Vanessa at Rangers games. And his storyline? He just makes out with Vanessa.

Oh, Jenny had a dramatic storyline. Her life is wrecked by UC Berkeley drop-out. She goes by the initials "KC". After that she's probably memorizing "The Magic Flute" in German, while watching Eric and Jonathan do their thing. The kids these days, they'd do anything.

And the parents? They're so madly in love, I don't even remember what happened.

(I just wanted to make it up with all of the episodes I missed recapping. Christmas, New Year's, Valentines and the spring solstice was like one long holiday.)

On with the show. A little later.