What to do in Vegas: The Pacquiao handbook when facing the Brits

A lot of Pinoys are must be in Las Vegas right now, like the likes of esteemed politicians such as Chavit Singson and Prospero Nograles. And basketball players such as Chris Tiu (hey, that's a compliment, for Chris). But have they witnessed the might of a full-strength British crowd, in and outside the MGM Grand? Do they know what's coming for them?

After bashing Mexican, American and Mexican-American contingents, the Filipino fans, have never met the English fan. The British diehards. The Hooligans. The Headhunters. The docks boys who'd give everything to make sure... Hatton gets to sip seltzer once the fight is over. They are so bad, the 1994 World Cup (in which England didn't qualify) was seen to have less logistical nightmares thanks "to teams such as Iran, Iraq and England not qualifying."

What should the Pinoys remember? What are the dos and don'ts when facing the British fans? Here are some tips:

10. Don't ever find yourself between a fence and salivating English supporters. Unless you're spider-man.

9. Don't call the Hitman fat. Or be prepared to be thrown with hash browns. Arm yourselves with ketchup dispensers, just in case.

8. Devise a simple chant. England fans have decades worth of chants and yells at their arsenal. For example:
*clap**clap*
*clap**clap**clap*
*clap**clap**clap**clap*
England!

But, since Pinoys speak English, this will be interesting; the only English-speaking nations the Englishmen had been battling extensively are the home nations (Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) and Ireland -- it'll be nice to see how the exchanges turn out. In a related note...

7. Bring musical instruments. Such as drums. It's much easier to follow the chants this way. Comes in handy for non-musical activities too...

6. Know the national anthem. Sing it loud and proud. I have a feeling the Filipino-American singer might screw up the words. But as long as he does not exclaim something stupid after the song to the lines of "LABAN PAC-MAN!!!!!11111", everything might be fine.

5. Keep in unison with the Pinoy crowd. I betcha that'll be hard to do since Pinoys love doing things by themselves.

4. It might be a good idea to use Tagalog expletives. Heck, they won't understand it anyway, unless the English are chummy with the Mexicans.

3. Don't be stupid. Don't go on a brawl with another fan. But I betcha there's a higher chance a Pinoy would brawl with a fellow Pinoy. Or maybe they'd tickle each other. Or maybe they're too drunk to comprehend.

2. Know the differences between the British flag and the English flag. Those are two quite different things. The one you're probably more familiar with is the British flag, the blue flag with the familiar red and white "asterisk". Notice the red lines bounded by thinner white lines? That's the Saint George's cross - the flag of England. When you remove the blue flag and the red and white "asterisk" you're left with Red Cross look-alike flag but the arms are stretched up to the ends. Most of the time, you'd see "HATTON" or some text sprawled on the horizontal line.

This is the English flag.

This is the British, or UK, flag.

So don't be dumbstruck on figuring out what red and white flag that is.

Don't write anything on the Philippine flag, though -- that's illegal.

1. Last, know your boxing. The boxing only occurs among the competitors on the ring. When some drunk Caucasian menacingly approaches you, call Freddie Roach. Or sing an S Club 7 song.