2012 NBA Playoffs Philippine TV schedule

It's that time of the year again! Sorta. This year's NBA Playoffs started about a week late. No worries we'd still have the schedules faster that you can say "Unibrow for London 2012 US team."

Some notes on last-minute reschedulings:
1. ABS-CBN and Studio 23 typically air games on Saturdays, Sundays, and Mondays (these are highlighted below). ABS-CBN usually airs games that start on the mid-morning as long as it does not preempt It's Showtime.
2. BTV is bound to have at least one playoff game whenever there are playoff games played on a day.

Eastern Conference Finals:
(2) Miami Heat vs. (4) Boston Celtics 
Game 1: May 29, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 2: May 31, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 3: June 2, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 4: June 4, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 5: June 6, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 6: June 8, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium

Western Conference Finals:
(1) San Antonio Spurs vs. (2) Oklahoma City Thunder
Game 1: May 28, 830AM @BTV, NBA Premium
Game 2: May 30, 9AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: June 1, 9AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium Game 4: June 3, 830AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 5: June 5, 9AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium
Game 6: June 7, 9AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium

Eastern Conference Semifinals:
(4) Boston Celtics vs. (8) Philadelphia 76ers
Game 1: May 13, 8AM @ABS-CBN (Delayed)
Game 2: May 15, 7AM @BTV, NBA Premium
Game 3: May 17, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 19, 330AM @NBA Premium
Game 5: May 22, 7AM @BTV, NBA Premium
Game 6: May 24, 8AM @NBA Premium
Game 7: May 27, 8AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium

(2) Miami Heat vs. (3) Indiana Pacers
Game 1: May 14, 330AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 16, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 18, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 21, 330AM @NBA Premium, Studio 23
Game 5: May 23, 8AM @NBA Premium
Game 6: May 25, 8AM @NBA Premium

Western Conference Semifinals:
(1) San Antonio Spurs vs. (5) Los Angeles Clippers
Game 1: May 16, 8AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 18, 7AM @NBA Premium, BTV
Game 3: May 20, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 21, 330AM @NBA Premium, BTV

(2) Oklahoma City Thunder vs. (3) Los Angeles Lakers
Game 1: May 15, 930AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 17, 930AM @NBA Premium, BTV
Game 3: May 19, 1030AM @NBA Premium, Studio 23
Game 4: May 20, 1030AM @ABS-CBN, NBA Premium
Game 5: May 22, 930AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium

Eastern Conference First Round:
(1) Chicago Bulls vs. (8) Philadelphia 76ers
Game 1: April 29, 1AM @BTV Game 2: May 2, 8AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 5, 8AM @NBA Premium & Studio 23
Game 4: May 7, 1AM @NBA Premium
Game 5: May 9, 930AM @BTV
Game 6: May 11, 7AM @NBA Premium

(2) Miami Heat vs. (7) New York Knicks
Game 1: April 29, 330AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 1, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 4, 7AM @NBA Premium & BTV
Game 4: May 7, 330AM @NBA Premium
Game 5: May 10, 7AM @ESPN

(3) Indiana Pacers vs. (6) Orlando Magic
Game 1: April 29, 7AM @Studio 23
Game 2: May 1, 730AM @NBA Premium & BTV
Game 3: May 3, 730AM @NBA Premium & BTV
Game 4: May 6, 2AM @BTV
Game 5: May 9, 7AM @NBA Premum & BTV

(4) Boston Celtics vs. (5) Atlanta Hawks
Game 1: April 30, 7AM @Studio 23
Game 2: May 2, 730AM @NBA Premium & BTV
Game 3: May 5, 730AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 7, 7AM @ BTV
Game 5: May 9, 8AM @NBA Premium
Game 6: May 11, 8AM @BTV

Western Conference First Round:
(1) San Antonio Spurs vs. (8) Utah Jazz
Game 1: April 30, 1AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 3, 7AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 6, 10AM @NBA Premium & Studio 23
Game 4: May 8, 8AM @NBA Premium, BTV

(2) Oklahoma City Thunder vs. (7) Dallas Mavericks
Game 1: April 29, 930AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 1, 930AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 4, 930AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 6, 730AM @Studio 23

(3) Los Angeles Lakers vs. (6) Denver Nuggets
Game 1: April 30, 330AM @NBA Premium
Game 2: May 2, 1030AM @NBA Premium
Game 3: May 5, 1030AM @ESPN
Game 4: May 7, 930AM @BTV, Studio 23
Game 5: May 9, 1030AM @NBA Premium
Game 6: May 11, 1030AM @NBA Premium
Game 7: May 13, 1030AM @NBA Premium, BTV

(4) Memphis Grizzlies vs. (5) Los Angeles Clippers
Game 1: April 30, 930AM @BTV
Game 2: May 3, 930AM @ESPN
Game 3: May 6, 430AM @NBA Premium
Game 4: May 8, 1030AM @NBA Premium
Game 5: May 10, 930AM @NBA Premium
Game 6: May 12, 1030AM @ESPN
Game 7: May 14, 1AM @NBA Premium, BTV

If you're into nostalgia: 2011 NBA Playoffs Philippine TV schedule, 2010 NBA Playoffs Philippine TV schedule.

Xmas coast to coast opening day hoops!

Some say the NBA should just ditch the first 2 months or so of the regular season since nobody except for hardcore basketball fans care on what happens in the early games. Well... don't people ignore the first part of any season of any league? Unless it's the UAAP and its ilk since there are only 14 games to go around.

So thanks to the lockout, it finally happened. The NBA starts its season on Christmas. By the end of the season, the players are dog tired... then it's the Olympics. So while we wait for the abbreviated season to breeze through us like a back-to-back-to-back, let me give you the Top 10 stories we'd have to look forward to this coming new year of hoops, that doesn't include player movement.

10. The rise and fall of the Spurs
The Spurs rose to the top at the now much-discussed 1999 season, when they won the title in 50 regular season games. Phil Jackson, who was tending in garden, shouted blasphemy just as he shouted the same thing when Barry Bonds broke the home run record. Heck some say it started with their elimination by the Teddy Bears last season; I say it started when Tony Parker screwed Brent Barry's wife.

9. Timberwolves: Barangay tagay of the NBA?
Not on the sense that Kahn has instilled a never-say-die attitude on the northernmost team in the league. It's just that Kahn has a point guard fetish. Maybe he's following Jong Uichico's philosophy of hauling guards (not necessarily points) just as fantasy owners haul big men like Lindsay Lohan hauls girls that look like dudes.

8. Fan backlash?
It's a long shot, but what's a longer shot are teams painting "Thank you fans on their hard courts just as the NHL did when they robbed Canadians of their national sport.

7. The fall and rise of the New York Knicks
While the Spurs were able to sustain into pseudo-dynasty their pseduoasterisked 1999 championship, their Finals opponents at that time weren't able to replicate the feat. I blame Isiah.

6. Swan song for Stern?
Fans show their David Stern love every draft when they enthusiastically boo him just like Bieber fans squee when they see the name "Bieber" on their tickets. Fans accused his regime of fixing games, favoring bigger market teams, favoring the LA Lakers, favoring the LA Clippers, and just being the overall suckjob that he did. Stern saw the expansion of the game into a full-fledged global sport, made the league big in China (although this will be tested with Yao's retitement) and by giving the Miami Heat the 2006 title to piss of Mark Cuban.

5. Rise up, Clipper Nation!
Clipper Nation. It's like the TNT Tropa. The Ube Republic. Women who watched the Azkals because of the football. It doesn't exist. Will it exist now? Would we see the rise of Lob Angeles after decades of neglect?

4. Mavs' title defense
The Mavs are of the unlikeliest NBA champions in a long time. They're also most underrated defending champion since the 1999 Chicago Bulls. Well, if you'd exclude the 1999 Bulls, you'd probably have to go back to the 1995-96 Rockets since Michael Jordan will cream the opposition, although the Rockets may have been highly-rated to be the West's representatives in 1996. Aside from those two, you've got to ask the elders on what was the most under-rated title retention campaign in the NBA.

3. Last hurrah for Tinseltown hoops?
Would this be the last time the Lakers would be seen as a legitimate title threat? Kobe's not getting any younger, their starting five is not as deep as last season's, and the Clips just arseraped them in two preseason games... well that's not the first time that happened.

2. Would the players really get tired?
Let's face it, basketball is not baseball. In baseball, the ratio between doing something productive and throwing up is 9:1. In basketball, you'd only throw up when you want to piss Metta World Peace off.

1. Miami Heat: 2012 NBA asterisked champs?
Let's face it. If they win, some people will cry blasphemy. Phil Jackson skipped the season after the lockout; and while he's not as young as Santa Claus, will he come back next year to correct on what could be the wrongest thing ever done to basketball? Aside from the Decision?

And now... let's jinx the upcoming season!

Per division rankings:
PAC: 4. LAC, 5. LAL, 8. PHX, 12. GSW, 14. SAC
SW: 2. DAL, 3. MEM, 6. SA, 10. HOU, 15. NO
NW: 1. OKC, 7. DEN, 9. POR, 11. UTA, 13. MIN
CEN: 2. CHI, 7. IND, 9. MIL, 10. DET, 15. CLE
SE: 1. MIA, 4. ATL, 6. ORL, 12. WSH, 14. CHA
ATL: 3. BOS, 5. NY, 8. NJ, 11. PHI, 13. TOR

Playoff forecast:
West: OKC def. PHX, LAC def. LAL, DAL def. DEN, MEM def. SA, OKC def. LAC, MEM def. DAL, OKC def. MEM
East: MIA def. NJ, NY def. ATL, CHI def. IND, BOS def. ORL, MIA def. NY, CHI def. BOS, MIA def. CHI
Finals: MIA def. OKC

2006 WWE Finals recap!

Thanks to the wonders of modern society, more known to the public as Youtube, this blog presents the five phantom calls that gave the Miami Heat the 2006 championship.

In this one, Jason Terry's soul touched Dwayne Wade and was fouled.


In this one, Devin Harris obviously did not alter D-Wade's shot.


In this one, I can not even explain how that was a foul.


Why does Wade fall down on every shot?


So obvious that Wade fouled Nowitzki. But we all know who got the call.

Mavs SWEEP Lakers!

Good triumphed over evil!
Mavs vanquished the Lakers!

Next: Victory over Japan Day -- Mavs win vs. the Heat

Eff the "experts"

Curiously, not one guy said "Mavs in X." Or do these experts know what David Stern is in store for us? Not a single... maverick?
Here some more predictions, all from the Lakers:
Kurt Helin said the Lakers would win in 6.
Probably Quinito said the Lakers would win in 7 and inserted a La Salle is bullied by the UAAP reference.
Probably Chino forgot to make a prediction and just greeted his neighbors.

Where David Stern is the star player happens: Top 10 stories of the 2011 NBA Playoffs 1st Round

This may have been the best first round of the NBA Playoffs ever, and to think no series went to seven games. But what should be more surprising is that the series that we expected to suck generated the most drama while those just deserve a "meh" reaction.

And how about them Solar Sports, giving us the games nobody wants to watch. Hey at least in the Conference Semis, they have no choice but to show something, considering there are fewer games to dump into NBA Premium, where nobody watches happens.
#10. The Heat ain't crying yet
You know, this is the undercard in one of those Pacquiao fights were Chino and Quinito just greet everyone, with Quinito kissing the ass of Ambassador Danding.

#9. KD dominating the Nuggets
Ever since Melo left, they've been stripped off the Thuggets monicker and still suck.

#8. Thorny Rose?
Fact: The only game the Pacers won, D-Rose did not achieve game-high in scoring.

#7. Unbounded Tyson Chandler
Tyson Chandler might be the missing piece in the Mavs championship puzzle -- a dominating big man. But would he be enough? The Mavs weren't able to stop David Stern the Blazers in their game 4 comeback, so that's one problem they should solve -- against the Lakeshow.

#6. End of the road for the Spurs?
Big question: Is it time for the Spurs to take drastic measures? Sell Duncan? Tank next season to get the #1 pick? Spank Richard Jefferson until training camp? Make sure Tony and Eva get back together again?

#5. Chris Paul: First Round MVP?
It's as if Pido was coaching the Hornets, with his three Ps philosophy: Puso, Pass the ball to Paul. Too bad Emeka thought he was still in Charlotte, and Kobe thought the Finals came in April.

#4. Swept away by Leprechauns.
Baseball has the Red Sox and the Yankees, but the basketball version was anticlimatic. Melo and STAT succumbed to injuries, and MSG wanted to bring Balkman back (nah). At least it's not Isiah.

#3. "Damn Kobe"
That phrase trended in Twitter. In situations where Pau Gasol is thinking of SOFT pillows, Lamar is thinking of Kim Kardashian and not Khloe, and when Andrew Bynum should've been paying for his hospital bills, Kobe does something.

#2. Memphis won, and then some.
The Grizzlies made a lot of firsts: such as making sure "Z" does not only mean "Zydrunas Ilgauskas." Now the franchise is in uncharted territory, and somehow, Mike Conley is earning every cent of his salary... well maybe still not.

#1. Orlando Magic: Disappointment of the season?
It doesn't help when your coach threw himself under the bus and lived to tell about it.

Postscript: It's interesting how the Conference Semis matchups look like. While not advocating for reseeding as it is done in the (NHL) Stanley Cup Playoffs, the massive regular season push by the Spurs and Bulls gave us a couple of interesting matchups: Mavs vs. Lakers and Celtics vs. Heat. The demotion of the Lakers to the #2 seed, and the Bulls causing the Celtics and Heat meet one round earlier than expected can make a pretty bland Conference Finals before things pick up once more in the NBA Finals, assuming David Stern does not screw up things.

For the Mavs, it's Dirk and Kidd. For the Lakers, it's...

Lakers vs. Mavs. Epic matchup. It's the Mavs vs. the NBA.

2011 NBA Playoffs Philippine TV schedule

Time to watch the team we love to hate weep! Let's go MIAMI sHEAT!

And what's this "NBA Premium"? New way to scam hoops fans? BTV ain't enough? Sports+ all over again? They need some dough to pay Riki and Jinno?
June 1, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami
June 3, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami
June 6, 8AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas
June 8, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas
June 10, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas*
June 13, 8AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami*
June 15, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami*
*if necessary

Previously aired games:

April 17, 7AM @Studio 23: Atlanta vs. Orlando
April 17, 930AM @NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 18, 1AM @NBA Premium: Memphis vs. San Antonio
April 18, 330AM @NBA Premium: New Orleans vs. LA Lakers
April 18, 7AM @Studio 23: New York vs. Boston
April 18, 930AM @BTV: Denver vs. Oklahoma City
April 19, 7AM @NBA Premium and BTV: Indiana vs. Chicago
April 20, 7AM @NBA Premium and BTV: New York vs. Boston
April 20, 930AM @NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 21, 8AM @NBA Premium: Denver vs. Oklahoma City
April 21, 830AM @BTV: Memphis vs. San Antonio
April 21, 1030AM @NBA Premium: New Orleans vs. LA Lakers
April 22, 7AM @BTV: Chicago vs. Indiana
April 22, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Portland
April 23, 7AM @ESPN: Boston vs. New York
April 23, 8AM @NBA Premium and BTV: Orlando vs. Atlanta
April 23, 930AM @ABS-CBN, NBA Premium and Studio 23: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 24, 230AM @NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Indiana
April 24, 730AM @NBA Premium: San Antonio vs. Memphis
April 24, 8AM @ABS-CBN: Dallas vs. Portland
April 24, 10AM @BTV: Oklahoma City vs. Denver
April 25, 8AM @ABS-CBN: Boston vs. New York
April 25, 930AM @BTV and Studio 23: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 26, 830AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 26, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Denver
April 27, 730AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Orlando
April 28, 7AM @BTV: Philadelphia vs. Miami
April 29, 730AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Orlando vs. Atlanta
April 29, 8AM @ESPN: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 29, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Portland
May 2, 1AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 2, 330AM @Studio 23 and NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 3, 8AM @NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago
May 3, 1030AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Dallas vs. LA Lakers
May 4, 7AM @NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 4, 930AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 5, 8AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago
May 5, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. LA Lakers
May 7, 7AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 7, 930AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: LA Lakers vs. Dallas
May 8, 5AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 8, 8AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Boston
May 9, 330AM @NBA Premium: LA Lakers vs. Dallas
May 9, 8AM@ @ABS-CBN, BTV and NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 10, 7AM @NBA Premium: Miami vs. Boston
May 10, 930AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 11, 8AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago (delayed on BTV)
May 12, 7AM @NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 12, 930AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 13, 8AM @Studio 23: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 14, 9AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 16, 330AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 16, 8AM @ABS-CBN, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago
May 18, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 19, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago
May 20, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 22, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Oklahoma City
May 23, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Miami
May 24, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Oklahoma City
May 25, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Miami
May 26, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 27, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago

Meet me halfway: NBA Playoffs mid-point

It's the Conference Finals and you know what that means: We are past two rounds of the playoffs and are at the halfway point. So what better way to celebrate than by having a totally random Top 10 list? Thanks, Dave.

#10: Brandon Jennings
So why did not get into college and why did he have bad stats in Europe???

#9: Suns shining brightly
This the Suns' best chance since like forever. Suns-Celtics to relive the Greatest Game Ever Played?

#8: What do they put in the water in Denver?
First, the head coach got cancer, then the assistan has kidney stones. Now the Nuggz are eliminated. Chauncey is pissed.

#7: D-Wade needs help
Maybe he can sign some Dolphins linebackers to scare the hell out of the opponent when he drives to the basket.

#6: Mavs first round woes
Hollinger was right. Mavs suck. LeBron we need you.

#5: The Truth: When we're healthy, we'd win
Thw Truth certainly speaks the truth. Just like when he said he twitched his knee in the 2008 Finals. The Celtics trainer must give puppy kibbles to the players to make them healthy.

#4: Magic's "Fo, fo..."
Once thing's sure: the Magic won't go 16-0 in the playoffs with an arse-raping against the Celtics.

#3: LeBron loses, again
Lakers fanboys the world over got so happy when the Celtics eliminated the Cavs in the semifinal for the second year running. Despite legit backup, LeBron failed to lead his team back at least to the Conference Finals. They did even better in 2007 when they had Boobie Gibson as their starting PG.

#2: Thunder made impact.
Kevin Durant had a baptism of fire, but he responded like a a priest becoming a bishop: like a time-tested pro. He and the Thunder, which never made any major moves, made sue the Lakers won't get in easy.

#1: Teh Playoffs were boring.
Like seriously, sweeps in the Conference Semifinals, blowouts by the Orlando Magic, then they got blew out. Even Lakers games are predictable even it went the last shot: they'd still win.

Like seriously, hockey's better. #8 vs. #7 in the Conference Finals? Red Wings eliminated? And Hossa still in the playoffs only to cry at the end? This year's Stanley Cup Playoffs is epic.

NBA fortnightly Top 10: Boot up

After the preseason Top 30 (or three Top 10 lists), let's continue the momentum with the fortnightly top 10: It's like the power rankings, only that it comes out every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month.

#10: Cleveland Cavaliers (6-3)
LeBron could've a better start to the season; had a 0-2 start (losing to a team not from the United States), and losing to the Bulls. All of their wins were from crappy teams. Good thing they won against the Florida teams. And LBJ had to score an average of 35 points on both games.

#9: Houston Rockets (5-4)
That Lakers game was oh so close but... you know the drill. Trevor Ariza is having a monster season, only that nobody cares anymore. Except for Luis Scola who grabs rebounds like perky schoolkids on a merry-go-round.

#8: Miami Heat (6-2)
The Heat are having a fiery start, with their two losses coming the likes of the Suns and the Cavs. If you thought James scores too much, you haven't seen Wade's stats: two 40-point plus games in the last fortnight. For some reason the Suns defense limited him to a measly 23 points. Dunno how that happened.

#7: Denver Nuggets (7-3)
For some reason I don't like this team. I dunno why. Maybe it's Melo's tats. The last week hasn't been kind to them either with three loses in a span of five days (Heat, Hawks, Bucks). But they bounced back with an arseraping of the Lakers... and you know I had to include this:

Too bad Allein Maliksi had a better dunk at the UAAP NCAA Slam Dunk Contest. Yeah, I wish.

#6: Orlando Magic (7-3)
Either the Magic hate SVG or SVG means "Suck Vig Gime". Yeah, that's poor. Their losses were awful. On the road at Detroit by 5, on the road at OKLAHOMA CITY by a number higher than 20 points (I didn't bother computing) and 9 at home vs. the Cavs. Now I wanna bash those Vince Carter fanboys at PEx, only if PEx is online. LOL

#5: Dallas Mavericks (6-3)
All is well in Mavsland. Kidd is shooting like Renren Ritualo, Dirk's hair is like Whitney Port's locks, Jose Juan Barea is emerging as a dependable fantasy player in a 50-team deep league, and Drew Gooden is on his way to being a realtor for having real estate in like 10 states. The road losses against NoLa and SA are a concern, though.

#4: Los Angeles Lakers (7-2)
So much for having a 20-1 start, eh? Well, there's still a still awesome 19-2 start, and Kobe's gotta be happy that the Lakeshow is doing well with Pau Gasol still fighting ETA extremists in his native Spain. But he's pissed at Ty Lawson. Too bad Sonny Weems is at Canada already perking himself up for the winter.

#3: Atlanta Hawks (7-2)
Despite losing to the #4 team, the Hawks won over the C's. But they were beaten badly by CHARLOTTE. (Yeah, I love using ALL CAPS for emphasis. Must be Twitter since you can't boldface and italicize and stuff.) So ranking these teams are as tough as pudding left at the window under the sun. Jamal Crawford is making himself a serious case for 6th man of the year. Only if they award the thing by fortnights.

#2: Phoenix Suns (8-2)
Yet ANOTHER team beaten by L.A. (and I mean the Lakers), and they're ranked higher. WTF is with this ranking? Yeah, but L.A. was almost beaten by the Clips, was beaten by the Mavs (who were ranked lower) and Oklahoma City which is ranked highly in the draft lottery. Still Nash and co. are scoring like crazy. Something that was so successful, Stern and Stu had to screw up the Sunnies when Stoudamire chased the Suns gorilla at the stands.

#1: Boston Celtics (8-2)
So wait, the #2 team beat the #1 team, and now they ranked higher? The C's beat the Cavs and Da Bulls, and the Suns were beaten by L.A. which was ranked lower. In other words, Sheed's having a jolly good time wearing green.

Top 10: 09-10 NBA countdown

Ah the top 10. You can be sure these ten teams would make it past the playoffs, heck even up to the Conference Semifinals, unless something catastrophic happens, like Kobe joining AI in Memphis. Or T-Mac high-fiving Oden at some sauna in Quezon Ave.

In this Top 10 edition, each team is associated with a Disney song. To make us all happy and perky this coming NBA season.

#10: Atlanta Hawks

While Josh Childress is on his way too extended Greek Holiday, the Hawks are at a crossroads. Young bigs, and Mike Bibby who is more famous for making non-aficionados mix him up with Doug Christie (both are white, bald and wear headbands). At least it's not as bad as MSNBC's Contessa Brewer.

#9: Denver Nuggets

Last season was "So Yesterday." But it's a brand new year, and Melo still must have a hangover. Wake up, Melo, the Nuggets are in for a long ride. At least Chauncey thinks he'll have John Elway's powers when he wears his number.

#8: Portland Trail Blazers

The present-day Jail Blazers are "Stranger" at the top. They haven't been there, and they almost went there, but due to tiebreaking complications even David Stern can't explain, they got the #4 seed, which meant a showdown with the T-Mac-less Rockets, which meant the Rockets would advance. Now that they had their baptism of fire, or should I say rocket exhaust, Brandon Roy and Daboy must break away from the "Stranger" label and show the West the will to win.

#7: Chicago Bulls

Derrick Rose would've said, "Our Time is Here," and this crew will crack the Boston-Cleveland-Orlando axis at the top. That First Round performance last year wasn't a fluke. If that team started the season with THAT lineup, they could've been battling the big 3 at the top.

#6: Boston Celtics

For the Celtics, there is no yesterday, no tomorrow; only "Tonight." This is perhaps their last time to win a championship with the core of Allen, Garnett and Pierce. Next year will be the beginning of the end, and Rondo might be on the way out. There's no tomorrow for this team. It's tonight or bust.

#5: San Antonio Spurs

The Spurs are due for a championship. They alternate with an Eastern Conference team, and last year didn't happen, so Pop got injected in fresh blood so that hoops fans will be bored with "Here We Go Again" gameplan that has endeared the Spurs to the people of San Antonio, and no one else, except perhaps really old guys.

Note: At this point, you're probably looking for "one" team that went way too up the order.

#4: Cleveland Cavaliers

"Don't Forget" what happened last year. LeBron and his pals failed miserably on their quest to make David Stern's eyes transform into dollar signs. Stern must've been oh so pissed. He probably did that to make it appear that the NBA is not fixed. He can always do that this year.

#3: Orlando Magic

Ah, the "Magic" Kingdom, the home of Walt Disney World, Mickey Mouse, Dwight Howard and the half man half amazing half a decade ago Vince Carter. Would Carter destroy the magical fun that is Stan Van Gundy's always constipated but it really is not face? Was Hedo a better fit? Perhaps these questions won't matter as the Magic would shoot more threes than the Grizzlies shoot bricks.

#2: Dallas Mavericks

Lemme put it simply: the Mavs will bring the hoedown throwdown to their opponents.

#1: Los Angeles Lakers

Ah, the honeymoon stage, it's that time you supposedly give up what you've held for yourself for oh so long. Ah who am I kidding. Lamar and Khloe must've brought it on even before they got married. With different partners. Ah, the "Lovebug," Kobe wants to return to Eagle, Colorado.

2009 Playoffs: Where matchups happen

With the basketball world in full playoff-swing (not just the NBA), here are the top ten matchups everyone is looking at this season's... postseason. And, no, Kevin Harlan vs. Marv Albert isn't included on who sounds better.

10. Boston Celtics vs. Boston Bruins
If some years ago, the people of Detroit had a hard time choosing which playoff game to watch (and which stadium to go to), now its Beantown's turn to get dizzy. But the Bruins are in the Conference Semifinals already and the Celtics... need KG more than ever. Heck, it's hockey, and nobody cares about hockey.

9. Tony Parker vs. the Mavs' defense
Or the lack of it. Heck, who's complaining, the Mavs are leading anyway, and Damp hasn't even let out his kung-fu moves.

8. Gordon vs. Rose
In an interesting subplot to the Celtics-Bulls series, it has became a battle of the Chicago backcourt on who should lead the team... in scoring. Good thing neither of them are at L.A. or else Kobe will be pissed.

7. The Orlando Magic vs. the Orlando Magic
Like seriously, everyone except yours truly thought they'd beat the Sixers handily; after all they threw out a lot of money in the biggest free agent signing since David Beckham went to Los Angeles (well.. sorta) to be chummy with Kobe (actually, his real mission was for him to convert Kobe to Scientology but he failed, so he went to Italy instead to brainwash Silvio Berlusconi.)

6. Mark Jackson vs. Jeff Van Gundy
I envy Dave Pasch or Mike Breen who has to mediate between these two Knick-heads.

5. Steve Blake vs. his brain
OhMyEffingGoshIWannaBeTheHeroSoLemmeShootThisBallFrom (obligatory line break) 50YardsAwayFromTheThreePointLine!

4. The Denver Nuggets vs. Ric Flair
Seriously, if they won't win Game 4, they gotta blame Ric Flair for his now famous "Woooooooooooooooooo". Did the Hornets guys got the rights for that? Last time I saw the map, New Orleans was so far away from Flair Country.

3. Danny Ferry vs. the economy
Betcha everybody forgot the stakes will be higher after the playoffs are done.

2. Boston Celtics vs. Chicago Bulls
Prior to 2009, the Bulls have never beaten the Celtics in the playoffs. Not even a single game. Even MJ wasn't able to do it in the three-peat years. Even with the triangle offense, the Zen Master and the greatest center to have ever lived not named Erick Dampier in the name of Luc Longley. Until Derrick Rose arrived. He broke the ice. He made sure Chicago had the best Saint Patrick's Day parade. And he did it on the parquet floor of the garden.

1. Greg Oden vs. Dikembe Mutombo
Now first, Deke just retired, and it was a joy watching him play all these years, from Atlanta to where ever he dropped by to finger wag the opponents, and the way it ended was not the way it should had been.

But despite Deke's injury, there's someone who feels a lot older, a lot more fragile. And his name, his Greg Oden. Too bad we won't be seeing this prime match-up once again, it's like Hakeem taking Shaq to school in the 1995 Finals. Ah the Deke, thnks fr th mmrs.

NBA Western Conference Playoffs, 90015

With the Eastern Conference teams done with all of the bitch-slapping from K-Fed (who got second place in a bowling tournament... can you believe that? Second place? Him?), it's time to shift our attention to the left-coast, the left-leaning liberals who'll make sure every animal has more rights than unborn babies. Better get your teabags ready, kids!

So the usual, the eight playoff teams as their 90210 counterparts. Only that they play lacrosse. And the team from Kansas that went to California didn't qualify. Aw, shucks.

Idea "inspired" from The Dagger, the Yahoo! Sports NCAA blog.

Guidance Counselor Kelly Taylor
You know, the hot guidance counselor your school didn't have.
Portland Trail Blazers. Last seen at the playoffs three years after the original 90210 went off-air, the new-look, clean-cut, we're not jail blazers anymore Portland Trail Blazers will make sure Bill Walton will itch for a comeback, like Silver's sister.

Brenda Walsh
Hey at least I have some career of some sort.
Utah Jazz. Guess who's older? Shannen Doherty or Jerry Sloan? If you guessed Jerry, then prepared to watch the whole run of "Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty", which is reportedly more exciting than Utah Jazz basketball.

Ethan Ward
Everyone loves the jock. Even boys.
Houston Rockets. Everyone seems to have soft spot for the Rockets, well if you ignore Ron Artest. Everyone wants them to achieve a breakthrough. But like Ethan who won't make it to season 2, the Rockets would not make it to round 2, if T-Mac plays. Hah.

Dixon Wilson
Everyone's BROTHA!
New Orleans Hornets. What's similar with the Hornets and my brotha Dixon? They are both adopted, Dixon adopted by the Dixons, and the Hornets adopted by New Orleans after their hasty exit at the hallowed grounds of One Tree Hill.

Erin Silver
I'm so cool, I'd give you death stares just for the heck of it.
Los Angeles Lakers. Kobe Bryant is ice cool, check that ice cold, he made more game-winning shots than Roel Gomez? Roel who? Exactly.

Principal Harry Wilson
I'd bust every thug in this school or bust!
San Antonio Spurs. Every odd-numbered year since 1998 save for 2001, the Spurs have been champs, and they have a legit claim to the title with the Southwest Division... nah, they'd just bring the Oakland Raiders defense to make the Mavs cry.

Annie Wilson
"So perky-people-hate-me-because-i'm so plastic-and-as-thin-as-a-cracker"
Denver Nuggets. If there's a Western Conference team that should make the breakthrough, it's the Nuggz. Which makes them so perky they squee everytime George Karl breathes. And I betcha instead of Gatorade, they drink Dr. Pepper at practice. Hmmmm, tastes like Gran Matador!

Adrianna Tate-Duncan
The drugged girl turned preggy girl
Like come on, you should see this coming a light year away. The Dallas Mavericks deserve to be Adrianna for the simple reason that Josh Howard is playing at the highest level since God knows when. Expect Josh to take it a notch higher as the playoffs continue, and reach it to the highest possible level during the off-season, where he does... his off-season "extra curricular" activities.

Sports in 2007: drugs, sex, gore and violence - better than your Hollywood movie

When 2007 ended, the sporting world was reeling with cheating, choke jobs, uneventful finales, gore and violence more than actual sporting events and achievements themselves (well these achievements themselves were achieved via cheating, gore and violence so it doesn’t matter if you’d think about it).

10. Mavs eliminated in the first round
Let’s face it, this team is always screwed. Screwed by Tim Donaghy on the 2006 Finals with phantom fouls on D-Wade (pump fake, drive, fall on your opponent and shoot FTs… WTF?). Now they’re screwed by facing the GSW team coached by their former coach Nellie, who practically knows Dirk Nowitzki from his favorite milk brand to his favorite underwear. Oh well, the NBA did this with Portland (remember the 8-on-5 handicap Game 7 against the Lakers?) so everyone knows they’re just being screwed.

9. England and France made it to the semifinals
Two more of those results you didn’t expect that’ll happen: Australia (which just white washed England) and New Zealand were eliminated at the quarterfinals of the Rugby World Cup. Heck even Prince William forgot about his Queen grandmother when he heard the news.

8. SMC teams lord it over
You must know that the 2006-07 Philippine Cup Finals was screwed. Hey at least they provided like 2 exciting games out of 3 blowouts. But why should Ginebra win? Why?!

7. Game KNB debacle
Now you know they shout “Bobo La Salle.” It’s very well damn true! Lasallians must think Toronto is an American city. I bet they can even point where U.S.A. is on a European map.

6. I can outdo LeBron even while fishing
While the world was watching LeBron single-handedly make the Pistons cry like the Lakers of 2004, Kobe hatched up a scheme even Aaron Burr would be proud: cry to the world you want to be traded while LBJ is wowing the world; the world promptly forgot about LBJ and suddenly all of the Kobe and Lakers fanboys sprouted like mushrooms. Hey at least Tim Duncan made it more boring when they swept the Cavs in June.

5. Hotties falling for playas
First we had the football wives, then Victoria Beckham, then the tsunami followed. Now a no-namer like Marko Jaric got the hottie. Girls must be in it for the $$$

4. Murder or ordinary death?
Even Gil Grissom won’t be able to solve this in 60 minutes. Was Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer murdered or did he die “from natural causes”. Whatever the case, if you can watch a sport that takes like a week to finish then I’ll give you a year’s supply of hotdogs. (OK, the CWC was done using the one-day international format but who knows what does that mean)

The top 3 sporting events tomorrow.