Xmas coast to coast opening day hoops!

Some say the NBA should just ditch the first 2 months or so of the regular season since nobody except for hardcore basketball fans care on what happens in the early games. Well... don't people ignore the first part of any season of any league? Unless it's the UAAP and its ilk since there are only 14 games to go around.

So thanks to the lockout, it finally happened. The NBA starts its season on Christmas. By the end of the season, the players are dog tired... then it's the Olympics. So while we wait for the abbreviated season to breeze through us like a back-to-back-to-back, let me give you the Top 10 stories we'd have to look forward to this coming new year of hoops, that doesn't include player movement.

10. The rise and fall of the Spurs
The Spurs rose to the top at the now much-discussed 1999 season, when they won the title in 50 regular season games. Phil Jackson, who was tending in garden, shouted blasphemy just as he shouted the same thing when Barry Bonds broke the home run record. Heck some say it started with their elimination by the Teddy Bears last season; I say it started when Tony Parker screwed Brent Barry's wife.

9. Timberwolves: Barangay tagay of the NBA?
Not on the sense that Kahn has instilled a never-say-die attitude on the northernmost team in the league. It's just that Kahn has a point guard fetish. Maybe he's following Jong Uichico's philosophy of hauling guards (not necessarily points) just as fantasy owners haul big men like Lindsay Lohan hauls girls that look like dudes.

8. Fan backlash?
It's a long shot, but what's a longer shot are teams painting "Thank you fans on their hard courts just as the NHL did when they robbed Canadians of their national sport.

7. The fall and rise of the New York Knicks
While the Spurs were able to sustain into pseudo-dynasty their pseduoasterisked 1999 championship, their Finals opponents at that time weren't able to replicate the feat. I blame Isiah.

6. Swan song for Stern?
Fans show their David Stern love every draft when they enthusiastically boo him just like Bieber fans squee when they see the name "Bieber" on their tickets. Fans accused his regime of fixing games, favoring bigger market teams, favoring the LA Lakers, favoring the LA Clippers, and just being the overall suckjob that he did. Stern saw the expansion of the game into a full-fledged global sport, made the league big in China (although this will be tested with Yao's retitement) and by giving the Miami Heat the 2006 title to piss of Mark Cuban.

5. Rise up, Clipper Nation!
Clipper Nation. It's like the TNT Tropa. The Ube Republic. Women who watched the Azkals because of the football. It doesn't exist. Will it exist now? Would we see the rise of Lob Angeles after decades of neglect?

4. Mavs' title defense
The Mavs are of the unlikeliest NBA champions in a long time. They're also most underrated defending champion since the 1999 Chicago Bulls. Well, if you'd exclude the 1999 Bulls, you'd probably have to go back to the 1995-96 Rockets since Michael Jordan will cream the opposition, although the Rockets may have been highly-rated to be the West's representatives in 1996. Aside from those two, you've got to ask the elders on what was the most under-rated title retention campaign in the NBA.

3. Last hurrah for Tinseltown hoops?
Would this be the last time the Lakers would be seen as a legitimate title threat? Kobe's not getting any younger, their starting five is not as deep as last season's, and the Clips just arseraped them in two preseason games... well that's not the first time that happened.

2. Would the players really get tired?
Let's face it, basketball is not baseball. In baseball, the ratio between doing something productive and throwing up is 9:1. In basketball, you'd only throw up when you want to piss Metta World Peace off.

1. Miami Heat: 2012 NBA asterisked champs?
Let's face it. If they win, some people will cry blasphemy. Phil Jackson skipped the season after the lockout; and while he's not as young as Santa Claus, will he come back next year to correct on what could be the wrongest thing ever done to basketball? Aside from the Decision?

And now... let's jinx the upcoming season!

Per division rankings:
PAC: 4. LAC, 5. LAL, 8. PHX, 12. GSW, 14. SAC
SW: 2. DAL, 3. MEM, 6. SA, 10. HOU, 15. NO
NW: 1. OKC, 7. DEN, 9. POR, 11. UTA, 13. MIN
CEN: 2. CHI, 7. IND, 9. MIL, 10. DET, 15. CLE
SE: 1. MIA, 4. ATL, 6. ORL, 12. WSH, 14. CHA
ATL: 3. BOS, 5. NY, 8. NJ, 11. PHI, 13. TOR

Playoff forecast:
West: OKC def. PHX, LAC def. LAL, DAL def. DEN, MEM def. SA, OKC def. LAC, MEM def. DAL, OKC def. MEM
East: MIA def. NJ, NY def. ATL, CHI def. IND, BOS def. ORL, MIA def. NY, CHI def. BOS, MIA def. CHI
Finals: MIA def. OKC

Heat got lebroned

Use "lebroned" in a sentence:
Noynoy lebroned Mar Roxas at the tailend of the 2010 election.

ChoKING JAMES

Hey Kim Chiu, this is not for you. That's Chow King. And you won't eat it anyway.

"We did not celebrate." --Lebritch*

*Lebron+Bitch+Brick
Lebritch took his celebrating talents to South Bitch, eh?

Where David Stern is the star player happens: Top 10 stories of the 2011 NBA Playoffs 1st Round

This may have been the best first round of the NBA Playoffs ever, and to think no series went to seven games. But what should be more surprising is that the series that we expected to suck generated the most drama while those just deserve a "meh" reaction.

And how about them Solar Sports, giving us the games nobody wants to watch. Hey at least in the Conference Semis, they have no choice but to show something, considering there are fewer games to dump into NBA Premium, where nobody watches happens.
#10. The Heat ain't crying yet
You know, this is the undercard in one of those Pacquiao fights were Chino and Quinito just greet everyone, with Quinito kissing the ass of Ambassador Danding.

#9. KD dominating the Nuggets
Ever since Melo left, they've been stripped off the Thuggets monicker and still suck.

#8. Thorny Rose?
Fact: The only game the Pacers won, D-Rose did not achieve game-high in scoring.

#7. Unbounded Tyson Chandler
Tyson Chandler might be the missing piece in the Mavs championship puzzle -- a dominating big man. But would he be enough? The Mavs weren't able to stop David Stern the Blazers in their game 4 comeback, so that's one problem they should solve -- against the Lakeshow.

#6. End of the road for the Spurs?
Big question: Is it time for the Spurs to take drastic measures? Sell Duncan? Tank next season to get the #1 pick? Spank Richard Jefferson until training camp? Make sure Tony and Eva get back together again?

#5. Chris Paul: First Round MVP?
It's as if Pido was coaching the Hornets, with his three Ps philosophy: Puso, Pass the ball to Paul. Too bad Emeka thought he was still in Charlotte, and Kobe thought the Finals came in April.

#4. Swept away by Leprechauns.
Baseball has the Red Sox and the Yankees, but the basketball version was anticlimatic. Melo and STAT succumbed to injuries, and MSG wanted to bring Balkman back (nah). At least it's not Isiah.

#3. "Damn Kobe"
That phrase trended in Twitter. In situations where Pau Gasol is thinking of SOFT pillows, Lamar is thinking of Kim Kardashian and not Khloe, and when Andrew Bynum should've been paying for his hospital bills, Kobe does something.

#2. Memphis won, and then some.
The Grizzlies made a lot of firsts: such as making sure "Z" does not only mean "Zydrunas Ilgauskas." Now the franchise is in uncharted territory, and somehow, Mike Conley is earning every cent of his salary... well maybe still not.

#1. Orlando Magic: Disappointment of the season?
It doesn't help when your coach threw himself under the bus and lived to tell about it.

Postscript: It's interesting how the Conference Semis matchups look like. While not advocating for reseeding as it is done in the (NHL) Stanley Cup Playoffs, the massive regular season push by the Spurs and Bulls gave us a couple of interesting matchups: Mavs vs. Lakers and Celtics vs. Heat. The demotion of the Lakers to the #2 seed, and the Bulls causing the Celtics and Heat meet one round earlier than expected can make a pretty bland Conference Finals before things pick up once more in the NBA Finals, assuming David Stern does not screw up things.

2011 NBA Playoffs Philippine TV schedule

Time to watch the team we love to hate weep! Let's go MIAMI sHEAT!

And what's this "NBA Premium"? New way to scam hoops fans? BTV ain't enough? Sports+ all over again? They need some dough to pay Riki and Jinno?
June 1, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami
June 3, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami
June 6, 8AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas
June 8, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas
June 10, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Dallas*
June 13, 8AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami*
June 15, 9AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Miami*
*if necessary

Previously aired games:

April 17, 7AM @Studio 23: Atlanta vs. Orlando
April 17, 930AM @NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 18, 1AM @NBA Premium: Memphis vs. San Antonio
April 18, 330AM @NBA Premium: New Orleans vs. LA Lakers
April 18, 7AM @Studio 23: New York vs. Boston
April 18, 930AM @BTV: Denver vs. Oklahoma City
April 19, 7AM @NBA Premium and BTV: Indiana vs. Chicago
April 20, 7AM @NBA Premium and BTV: New York vs. Boston
April 20, 930AM @NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 21, 8AM @NBA Premium: Denver vs. Oklahoma City
April 21, 830AM @BTV: Memphis vs. San Antonio
April 21, 1030AM @NBA Premium: New Orleans vs. LA Lakers
April 22, 7AM @BTV: Chicago vs. Indiana
April 22, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Portland
April 23, 7AM @ESPN: Boston vs. New York
April 23, 8AM @NBA Premium and BTV: Orlando vs. Atlanta
April 23, 930AM @ABS-CBN, NBA Premium and Studio 23: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 24, 230AM @NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Indiana
April 24, 730AM @NBA Premium: San Antonio vs. Memphis
April 24, 8AM @ABS-CBN: Dallas vs. Portland
April 24, 10AM @BTV: Oklahoma City vs. Denver
April 25, 8AM @ABS-CBN: Boston vs. New York
April 25, 930AM @BTV and Studio 23: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 26, 830AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Portland vs. Dallas
April 26, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Denver
April 27, 730AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Orlando
April 28, 7AM @BTV: Philadelphia vs. Miami
April 29, 730AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Orlando vs. Atlanta
April 29, 8AM @ESPN: LA Lakers vs. New Orleans
April 29, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Portland
May 2, 1AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 2, 330AM @Studio 23 and NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 3, 8AM @NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago
May 3, 1030AM @BTV and NBA Premium: Dallas vs. LA Lakers
May 4, 7AM @NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 4, 930AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 5, 8AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago
May 5, 1030AM @NBA Premium: Dallas vs. LA Lakers
May 7, 7AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 7, 930AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: LA Lakers vs. Dallas
May 8, 5AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 8, 8AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Boston
May 9, 330AM @NBA Premium: LA Lakers vs. Dallas
May 9, 8AM@ @ABS-CBN, BTV and NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 10, 7AM @NBA Premium: Miami vs. Boston
May 10, 930AM @NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 11, 8AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Atlanta vs. Chicago (delayed on BTV)
May 12, 7AM @NBA Premium: Boston vs. Miami
May 12, 930AM @BTV, NBA Premium: Memphis vs. Oklahoma City
May 13, 8AM @Studio 23: Chicago vs. Atlanta
May 14, 9AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 16, 330AM @Studio 23, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Memphis
May 16, 8AM @ABS-CBN, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago
May 18, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 19, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago
May 20, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 22, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Oklahoma City
May 23, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Miami
May 24, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Dallas vs. Oklahoma City
May 25, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Chicago vs. Miami
May 26, 9AM @Studio 23, BTV, NBA Premium: Oklahoma City vs. Dallas
May 27, 830AM @ABS-CBN, BTV, NBA Premium: Miami vs. Chicago

Hey LeBron, didn’t Bedans invent “Dynas-Three”?

Back in 2008, when Bedans are about to whore themselves into a third consecutive championship thanks to Sam Ekwe, the Nigerian nobody in the (Philippine) NCAA can guard, they invented slogans to celebrate their whoredom.
Hey, if your college program is that crappy, why not fetch a behemoth out of Nigeria, tell the world that he is studying to become a priest, and don him in a basketball jersey?

In 2006, they “Ended 28 at 82”, or ended 28 years of futility in the 82nd year (NOT season) of the NCAA. In 2007, I forgot what they were up to, (Letranites had “Relive ’83 @ 83”, or relive their 1983 NCAA championship in the 83rd year of the NCAA), but in 2009, Bedans had “Dynas-three.” Apparently, they were smart enough to know that in order to be a legit dynasty, you’d have to win three consecutive times. (Sorry Spurs fans, that San Antonio team, although impressive, was not a dynasty.)

Enough of that Bedan rant, rest assured, they probably won those three titles following league rules, you gotta hand it to them. So now, when I watched LeBron’s introduction ceremony to the Miami Heat, and the announcer guy (certainly an improvement over the Cavs PA; remember that game where the Q Arena’s shot clock got effed up?) said they’re now the Dynas-Three. ZOMG. Unless you live in an alternate universe, the Miami Heat has NEVER won an NBA title when it was 5 vs. 5 on the court; when it was 8 vs. 5, sure that was one championship having a cute little asterisk like the ball Barry Bonds blasted against the Washington Nationals to break the home run record. But even Bedans will tell you, with law books in tow that Miami was, and is not a dynasty.

You’re probably asking me how the heck San Beda College and alternate universes got into the picture; you’re here to ask why the hell LeBron went to that rinky-dink town. Let’s see who LeBron won’t be after this move:

He won’t be like Michael Jordan (first two incarnations), Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Julius Erving, currently Kobe Bryant and the great Isiah Thomas: players who played in one team and won championships with them. Those championships increased the mythic status of those players.

He won’t be like Reggie Miller, John Stockton, formerly Paul Pierce, and currently Dirk Nowitzki: great players who never won but achieved mythic status not only for their great play but loyalty on a single team. Miller and Stockton were more tragic: they stayed on small-market teams but led those teams to the Finals, only to fail.

He won’t be like Wilt Chamberlain, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Bill Walton, and Robert Horry: won championships with two different teams. They may not be as mythic in their “home” teams but as are as impressive as the two previous examples.

He won’t be like Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett, Gary Payton, and Jun Limpot (HAHA): the chip whores. Those who won ditched loyalty to win the championship in the near-twilight of their careers for the sole reason that they absolutely, really, have to win one to cement their legacy.

He won’t be like Clyde Drexler, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, Shawn Kemp and Patrick Ewing: those who switched teams but failed. They did it past their prime, and like the earlier group, they had to end their careers with at least one title, but it ended in futility.

Heck, he won’t be like Shaquille O’Neal who ditched the Magic after like a couple of seasons to play with the Lakers.

Instead, LeBron will be in a class of his own: the player who ditched loyalty, who ditched “I’m only 25, I can still do this by my own” mantra. He is now the modern-day Scottie Pippen, only that he’d be paid more. He’s now the Robin to Miami’s Batman: Tim Donaghy, er… David Stern… oh eff that, Dwayne Wade. He could’ve joined the Nets or Knicks and proclaim that it is his team. Yet he tapped out, like the guy on the Brock Lesnar UFC fight not named Brock Lesnar. He has emasculated himself. Hey, if you’re game is that crappy, why not hitch on someone else’s coattails?

And oh, the San Beda Red Lions 2010 slogan is “REDemption”, hey at least it’s not “Redeem Team”. We all know where that came from.

Meet me halfway: NBA Playoffs mid-point

It's the Conference Finals and you know what that means: We are past two rounds of the playoffs and are at the halfway point. So what better way to celebrate than by having a totally random Top 10 list? Thanks, Dave.

#10: Brandon Jennings
So why did not get into college and why did he have bad stats in Europe???

#9: Suns shining brightly
This the Suns' best chance since like forever. Suns-Celtics to relive the Greatest Game Ever Played?

#8: What do they put in the water in Denver?
First, the head coach got cancer, then the assistan has kidney stones. Now the Nuggz are eliminated. Chauncey is pissed.

#7: D-Wade needs help
Maybe he can sign some Dolphins linebackers to scare the hell out of the opponent when he drives to the basket.

#6: Mavs first round woes
Hollinger was right. Mavs suck. LeBron we need you.

#5: The Truth: When we're healthy, we'd win
Thw Truth certainly speaks the truth. Just like when he said he twitched his knee in the 2008 Finals. The Celtics trainer must give puppy kibbles to the players to make them healthy.

#4: Magic's "Fo, fo..."
Once thing's sure: the Magic won't go 16-0 in the playoffs with an arse-raping against the Celtics.

#3: LeBron loses, again
Lakers fanboys the world over got so happy when the Celtics eliminated the Cavs in the semifinal for the second year running. Despite legit backup, LeBron failed to lead his team back at least to the Conference Finals. They did even better in 2007 when they had Boobie Gibson as their starting PG.

#2: Thunder made impact.
Kevin Durant had a baptism of fire, but he responded like a a priest becoming a bishop: like a time-tested pro. He and the Thunder, which never made any major moves, made sue the Lakers won't get in easy.

#1: Teh Playoffs were boring.
Like seriously, sweeps in the Conference Semifinals, blowouts by the Orlando Magic, then they got blew out. Even Lakers games are predictable even it went the last shot: they'd still win.

Like seriously, hockey's better. #8 vs. #7 in the Conference Finals? Red Wings eliminated? And Hossa still in the playoffs only to cry at the end? This year's Stanley Cup Playoffs is epic.

2009 yearender: Top 10 international sports stories

International sports fans had a delight of sporting events and the sports scene didn't let up with highlights worth a second look:

#10: Who thought draws were boring?
As long as Charlize Theron hosts, I can tolerate it.

#9: The curse: Pittsburgh steel one from Kurt Warner as he ALMOST wins one
He won one at St. Louis and he almost led another franchise worth scrambled eggs to the Super Bowl. Too bad the people at Pottsville, Pennsylvania cursed the hapless Cardinals. What better team to beat the Cards: a team from Pennsylvania: BR-7's Pittsburgh Steelers.

#8: Spain barely qualifies, then bamboozles
Spain started the EuroBasket 2009 on a bad way -- losing to Serbia by 9, then had a virtual elimination game against host Poland to even qualify for the quarterfinals. They they had to beat unbeaten France in the QF, which they handily did, and they also won the next two games two, including the rematch with Serbia for the championship, where they blew out the hapless Serbs by 22.

#7: Thank God Tim Tebow's mom did not abort him...
Or else Urban Meyer would have sleepless nights on whether to retire or not. Meyer's probably imitating another champion Florida coach -- Billy Donovan.

#6: Tyler Hansbrough wins one for the curly white dudes
Who said white men can't jump? They still can't, but Tyler doesn't need to jump to bring a home crowd of 70,000 at the Ford Field to cry.

#5: Thrilling finish at San Juan
No USA? No problem -- Brazil, Argentina and Puerto Rico gave a Americas Championship to remember. The Puerto Ricans saw the next generation of hoops players Carlos Arroyo is more than happy to leave behind. Too bad they lost by a measly point, but they qualified anyway to the World Championship so... it's still bad. Spain, China and now Puerto Rico were beaten at the Final of their continental championships. I wonder why SBP insists on bidding for one.

#4: Kobe claims what's his, and lets LBJ gets the consolation prize
"Yo LeBron, get that MVP trophy, I'd rather see Bill Russell give me the golden trophy with a ball about to go to the rim -- just like your shots, they never get in."

#3: This SIX it: FC Barcelona
Purists won't call it a sextuple, but those six shiny trophies are the envy of fans around the world. Especially Manchester United and Real Madrid fans.

#2: If you're not into Canadian football...
Just watch:


#1: Mayweather is back, and then some
I dunno if Juan Manuel Marquez wanted a beatdown of epic proportions, but at least he earned big when he made himself Floyd Mayweather's punching bag.

NBA fortnightly Top 10: Boot up

After the preseason Top 30 (or three Top 10 lists), let's continue the momentum with the fortnightly top 10: It's like the power rankings, only that it comes out every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month.

#10: Cleveland Cavaliers (6-3)
LeBron could've a better start to the season; had a 0-2 start (losing to a team not from the United States), and losing to the Bulls. All of their wins were from crappy teams. Good thing they won against the Florida teams. And LBJ had to score an average of 35 points on both games.

#9: Houston Rockets (5-4)
That Lakers game was oh so close but... you know the drill. Trevor Ariza is having a monster season, only that nobody cares anymore. Except for Luis Scola who grabs rebounds like perky schoolkids on a merry-go-round.

#8: Miami Heat (6-2)
The Heat are having a fiery start, with their two losses coming the likes of the Suns and the Cavs. If you thought James scores too much, you haven't seen Wade's stats: two 40-point plus games in the last fortnight. For some reason the Suns defense limited him to a measly 23 points. Dunno how that happened.

#7: Denver Nuggets (7-3)
For some reason I don't like this team. I dunno why. Maybe it's Melo's tats. The last week hasn't been kind to them either with three loses in a span of five days (Heat, Hawks, Bucks). But they bounced back with an arseraping of the Lakers... and you know I had to include this:

Too bad Allein Maliksi had a better dunk at the UAAP NCAA Slam Dunk Contest. Yeah, I wish.

#6: Orlando Magic (7-3)
Either the Magic hate SVG or SVG means "Suck Vig Gime". Yeah, that's poor. Their losses were awful. On the road at Detroit by 5, on the road at OKLAHOMA CITY by a number higher than 20 points (I didn't bother computing) and 9 at home vs. the Cavs. Now I wanna bash those Vince Carter fanboys at PEx, only if PEx is online. LOL

#5: Dallas Mavericks (6-3)
All is well in Mavsland. Kidd is shooting like Renren Ritualo, Dirk's hair is like Whitney Port's locks, Jose Juan Barea is emerging as a dependable fantasy player in a 50-team deep league, and Drew Gooden is on his way to being a realtor for having real estate in like 10 states. The road losses against NoLa and SA are a concern, though.

#4: Los Angeles Lakers (7-2)
So much for having a 20-1 start, eh? Well, there's still a still awesome 19-2 start, and Kobe's gotta be happy that the Lakeshow is doing well with Pau Gasol still fighting ETA extremists in his native Spain. But he's pissed at Ty Lawson. Too bad Sonny Weems is at Canada already perking himself up for the winter.

#3: Atlanta Hawks (7-2)
Despite losing to the #4 team, the Hawks won over the C's. But they were beaten badly by CHARLOTTE. (Yeah, I love using ALL CAPS for emphasis. Must be Twitter since you can't boldface and italicize and stuff.) So ranking these teams are as tough as pudding left at the window under the sun. Jamal Crawford is making himself a serious case for 6th man of the year. Only if they award the thing by fortnights.

#2: Phoenix Suns (8-2)
Yet ANOTHER team beaten by L.A. (and I mean the Lakers), and they're ranked higher. WTF is with this ranking? Yeah, but L.A. was almost beaten by the Clips, was beaten by the Mavs (who were ranked lower) and Oklahoma City which is ranked highly in the draft lottery. Still Nash and co. are scoring like crazy. Something that was so successful, Stern and Stu had to screw up the Sunnies when Stoudamire chased the Suns gorilla at the stands.

#1: Boston Celtics (8-2)
So wait, the #2 team beat the #1 team, and now they ranked higher? The C's beat the Cavs and Da Bulls, and the Suns were beaten by L.A. which was ranked lower. In other words, Sheed's having a jolly good time wearing green.

LBJ: Witnessing the Disney Finals at home

So before you yell at me, this is a Conference Finals postmortem, not a preview of the 2009 NBA Finals. We've seen several truths at the concluded Conference Finals: Mike Brown only has one play, and Kobe has a better supporting cast than LBJ. Gotta blame the larger L.A. market for that, though. Or Stern. Blame everything on him.

On the West, the Lakers and the Nuggz were embroiled in the Western shootout ABC were not so happy to broadcast, mainly because Jeff wanted to bash his brother on-air personally, but at least he'd be able to do it this weekend.

The 2009 Western Conference Finals will primarily remembered by hoops fans by this simple metric: the day where Trevor Ariza woke up on the right side of the bed, the Lakers win. On Game 1, he intercepted an inbounds pass to make the Lakers hold on to the lead and defeat Denver. On Game 2, he committed a turnover to led to the Nuggets retaining the lead and tie the series. On Game 3, Ariza deflected another inbounds pass to win the game for the Lakers.

Another thing worth remembering is the emergence of the Birdman. It's like Mulawin, only that he has tattoos. If only Karl gave him a bit more playing time. And yes, he should've gave Sonny Weems (remember him? That Nuggets waterboy during the Slam Dunk Contest) playing time too.

(And as being the #1 Sonny Weems fanboy this side of the ocean, here's the official NBA.com Sonny Weems widget:

Now you can follow Sonny Weems through out the Finals right here!)


A lot has been said about Billups rejuvenating the Nuggets, and even the Nuggets rejuvenating Billups, but when the time needed it -- at the start of the third quarter in Game 6, the Nuggets failed to respond on Chauncey's -- who was wearing John Elway's #7 -- pleas. Maybe Josh Howard and Melo would hook-up on the off-season for some extra-curricular activities.

Back in the East, everyone thought the Magic were lucky to face a Celtics team without KG, even luckier they escaped Game 7 as the Garden with a blowout, but they turned the doubters into middle-of-the-roaders after exhilarating Game 1 win. Hedo made sure Turkey was well-represented well after October. But LeBron wouldn't allow a home-sweep loss by converting that trey that would've been remembered for ages, if things went his way the next few days.

So in Orlando, everyone was expecting the Cavs to steal win, most likely Game 4. As expected, Game 3 was a Magic win, but Game 4 would've cemented the Magic's berth in the Finals: an OT win with Dwight Howard scoring on like 5 dunks making Varejao forget that he was supposed to flop. Maybe the Game 6 refs failed to get the memo. LeBron wouldn't let his team be eliminated at home, with Coach of the Year instructing his team, with the season on the balance, with the simplest of game plans, if ever it deserved to be called as a "game plan": stretch the floor, and give the damn ball to LBJ! It's like Princeton offense only that the man driving through the middle has to do everything.

That "strategy" may work in Cleveland, but in O-Town, the stars must've written the outcome as the Cavs fell flat after the first quarter break, as the Magic pulled away and clinched their first NBA Finals appearance since Shaq was still 300 pounds lighter.

I've always thought that Danny Ferry had done a fine job in Cleveland, with Quicken Loans in bad shape and all, but it seems that the Cavs are one big man away from the title. Mo Williams wasn't the one that they needed, and Szczerbiak and Pavlovic, despite being labeled as shooters, and Europeans, at that, can't shoot consistently.

On the contrary, I thought giving Rashard Lewis an amount of money that can feed the Gambia was too much, but it was a stroke of pure genius: surround Dwight with shooters, and let him wreak havoc at the shaded lane. Jameer Nelson getting lost for the rest of the season was a big blow, but the Magic front office followed it up with a trade that sent Skip To My Lou to Central Florida. It's like Mitch Kupchak only better.

So it's ABC's Dream Finals. Walt Disney World vs. Disneyland (yes, they are two different places). And Jeff can now get to bash Stan on live international TV. And I'll be watching the Red Wings make the Penguins wish they were in the Arctic Circle.

NBA Finals: Where Mickey Mouse grins happens.

Teh jinx

It may not be my intention, and I apologize to all concerned, especially Cavs fans, but not you, David Stern, that my poll jinxed the Cavs-Lakers Finals.

As a result, I won't be commenting about the NBA Finals for their duration, even on my Twitter updates. Let's see how long can I hold out. Maybe WTP can say something. Maybe.

2009 Eastern Conference Playoffs, OTH style

Since its playoffs time, we'd also have the annual preview. But since my 2008 previews bombed , I gotta look for ways to continue this.

So, let's recast "One Tree Hill" with the teams from the 2009 Eastern Conference playoffs. Like who's the hottest brunette on Tree Hill, North Carolina, and which team will carry over their regular season hotness to playoff level. The Western Conference will star as "90210" a little later.

Idea "inspired" from The Dagger, the Yahoo! Sports NCAA blog.

30 teams, 30 stories, or in this case, this was "4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days" in the making. LeBron James and the Cavs are now the #1 seed overall ever since their first splash into the playoffs 4 years ago. Where they made the Wiz was shocked by one Damon Jones, and where the Cavs took the defending champions to the limit.

Nanny Carrie
The crazy psycho-bitch nanny.
Boston Celtics. You know what's crazier than The Truth delivering guarantees like he's The Sheed? It's potentially playing the playoffs without KG. But don't worry, another psycho-bitch is here to save the day: the greatest PG this side of the ocean to take care of the fort.

Antawn "Skills" Taylor
There's another reason why we called him Skills
Miami Heat. D-Wade is the 2-time Skills Challenge champ, so we gotta give this to him. And after he made short work of Kobe at the 2007 Skills Challenge (who even remembers that?), he'd been showing the bling-bling on each and every occasion. And David Stern will make it damned sure that he milks D-Wade for all of his worth.

Haley James Scott
That MILF-next-door.
Chicago Bulls. It would've been logical that we chose Chicago as the rival of nanny Carrie. And like since they are the hottest Eastern Conference team outside Boston and Cleveland, it's a perfect fit. And (this is like the second "and" already), with KG out for the entire first round, Da Baby Bulls will atone for their woeful 07-08 season, with Derrick Rose atoning for the "almost" NCAA championship of 2008.

Jason the band dude
Hint: This was played by Britney's ex
Kevin Federline's shining moment in OTH was when he was bitch-slapped by Q, who'd die later. At least he had a longer exposure here than on WWE where he was... bitch-slapped by John Cena. The Pistons should've hoped Isiah Thomas didn't accept that job at FIU and instead made a neighborhood hug with Joe Dumars. So that the playoffs will last shorter.

Mia Catalano
My appearances are so random I don't know what my role is
Atlanta Hawks. Mia (Kate Voegele) loves to sing, and she made it big. So Atlanta's hoping for the breakthrough, since after all, the last time that franchise won a series, Mike Bibby had hair. But can she hurdle "Skills"? Or maybe Skills likes older women, and I'm referring to the OTH Skills.

Rachel Gatina
I'm so hot... and wasted
Orlando Magic. With the Magic's depth compromised numerous injuries, they'll need more than just the hot play of the Superman to beat the likes of... the next team.

Peyton Sawyer
I'm blonder than Serena van der Woodsen!
Philadelphia 76ers. Philly might had the luck of the draw. Aside from Boston, Orlando is the other of the higher seeds that had been plagued by injury problems. Good thing Elton Brand isn't playing or else... he'll get pwned by D-Howard.

Brooke Davis
Screw you Peyton, I'm the hottest girl, period!
Cleveland Cavaliers.
The Cavs are the hottest thing in the NBA as Brooke is the hottest girl who made division the hottest thing in math. C/B = Cleveland over Boston.

4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days. The journey is just beginning.

What the world cares about the NBA Playoffs

Cleveland Cavaliers, Los Angeles Lakers, Boston Celtics, and Orlando Magic on Wikirank

The top 4 teams of the NBA: the Cavs, the Lakers, the Celts and the Magic. Seems that the Lakers are the still the most popular (or the most hated team out there.

And since Orlando is a small-market town, so is their popularity. Will it change at the course of the playoffs? Or would KG end faking his injury (You can NOT trust them especially what happened with The Truth™ last year.)?

Bonus: NBA Playoffs vs. the Stanley Cup (NHL) Playoffs:

2009 NBA Playoffs and 2009 Stanley Cup playoffs on Wikirank

Graphs c/o Wikirank. Licensed under the GFDL.

Top 10 stupidest events of 2007

As we close out 2007, I reckoned to do what everyone else does, make their top 10 yearender lists. Very original.

10. Kobe crying for a trade when LeeeeeBron* James wrecks havoc on court.
In retrospect, if Kobe got traded to the Bulls, perhaps Scott Skiles wasn't fired.

9. Trying to cry while pinching your eyes.
It sure hurts but it won't make you cry that naturally.

And do you expect me to believe you? Ha!

8. K-Fed wrestling John Cena
Come on, Cena is great. He's better than Hogan, the Rock, Stone Cold, and all of the WWE roster combined. Even include Vinnie Mac. Cena will make mincemeat out of K-Fed.

I mean it.

7. Michael Vick's dogfights
Yes throw away everything to see dogs beat the living hell out of each other (and I mean the living hell). Then eat them for dinner. Yummy.

6. Typhoon Mina can't make up her mind
Hey at least she spared a place that has seen enough of tropical disturbances.

5. "Nothing will happen at 3 o'clock"
Yeah sure did. But something did happen 45 minutes after.

4. Jamie Lynn's not overprotected enough
Perhaps she was singing "Gimme More" when she was doing the deed.

3. Marc Nelson running at the Amazing Race Asia
He can't run for Pete's sake.

2. Manny Pacquiao running for Congressman.
Meesteer Speekir, I moob dat di nominasyun bi klosed.

1. Manny Pacquiao having his own TV show
Heck even Chris Tiu can't save the show as well as he saved the Eagles from elimination...

*BBC pronunciation. They also call Amare "Stoodamire".