February 2, 2014

Your #Spain2014 mascots: 10 things Ole and Hop are not

Say "HELLO!" to #Spain2014 mascots, Ole and Hop!

If you're paying attention, Ole and Hop resemble the two hands at the logo of #Spain2014. But wait, haven't you seen these goofy hands from somewhere? These are the 10 things are pals, Ole and Hop, aren't:

10. Mascots of team handball

Coz you know, that's a totally different sport. But hey, it's kinda like soccer and basketball rolled into one.

9. Mascots of NAMBLA

Hey, you gotta use hands when going out with your boy.

8. Mascots of a glove company

Gloves aren't supposed to be this colorful.

7. Your hands this New Year's Eve

FIBA's way too classy to use your severed fingers.

6. Instruments to slap Jollibee

While Jollibee's ass is way too big, it'll be hilarious to see Jollibee being chased by slap-itchy Ole and Hop around town.

5.The personification of a dirty finger

They have way too many fingers.

4. Alley-ooping superstars

Yes, Ole and Hop's names came from "alley-oop". But they can't do that since their palms are too big.

3. Used by China to draw the 9-dash line

FIBA used them to draw the lines at the #Spain2014 courts though.

2. Used to grab Mr. Met

Mrs. Met, the Baby Mets, the New York Mets and Bud Selig will certainly sue FIBA if that happens.

1. Mascots of the World Masturbatory Foundation

If you're all alone, thank heavens all of your 10 fingers are still intact.

I have this sneaking suspicion that Ole, the red/orange one, turns out to be gay. Too bad the Russians didn't make it. Are they supposed to be brothers? Or friends? Because when there are two mascots, usually, one is male and the other is female, but on this case, they're both... hands. Like SpongeBob and Patrick. Can we see them slap each other at halftime? Or massage Beau Belga's belly?

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