Reader comments: Top 10 national flags you don't want to draw.

Three years ago, I listed the top ten toughest flags to draw. And it is one of the top posts on this blog, and has seen plenty of comments. So let's have another ten! But first, some replies to the comments.

Divorce: The time is now?

The Philippines is now the only country in the world, except for Vatican City, not to recognize divorce. Today, the Maltese endorsed in a referendum to approve divorce.

Question: Should the Philippines legalize divorce? Vote after the jump.

They were playing Bieber and Charice on the hostaged bus

...as if to make their ordeal one of the most inhumane ever, disgraced police officer Rolando Mendoza subjected his hostages to an auditory delight of Justin Bieber and Charice songs. Just kidding. So who should we blame for all of this? Vote after the jump.

Top ten toughest national flags to draw

Remember as a kid when you drew our national flag? Red, white and blue with a sun shining through, with three little stars at the tips of the triangle? Ain't that easy? If you're a Libyan kid, unless you're green-color blind, drawing the national flag is as easy as getting a piece of green art paper.

Most other European and African nations have tricolors, flags with three colors either arranged horizontally or vertically (or even diagonally).

But some national flags are a chore to draw. If you are a kid in of these countries, it must've been next to impossible to draw your own flag. What makes the flag special is that it is simple enough for children to draw, for the kids find a connection between their lives and their flags.

And as expected, flags with coat of arms (seals) are one of the hardest to draw, so I'll exclude them. This list will be too easy to create, if that's the case.

(Flags c/o Wikimedia Commons.)

10. Flag of Krygyzstan

This flag only has two colors, but drawing the sun might be a chore. You'd have the draw 40 wavy rays. Hey at least we only eight to draw. This is worse than the Uruguayan and Argentinian flags that have flags with a sun with plenty of rays.

9. Flag of Sri Lanka

This is not that hard, once you perfect on how to draw the silhouette of a dragon. The flag of Bhutan is harder - the dragon is more intricate, but you can screw that up anyway easily.

8. Flag of Brunei

The central emblem, if you can call it an 'emblem" is a composite image composed of many parts. Another Southeast Asian country, Cambodia, has a flag that is harder to draw, since you'd have to draw the Angkor Wat correctly but seriously, we mastered drawing castles when we were kids so it's not that hard to draw with practice.

7. Flag of Swaziland
This flag has five colors. Essentially a flag of stripes, the flag got hard to draw once you're into the shield and the spears. Kenya has a similar flag but the shield and spears are easier drawn than the more complicated flag of Swaziland.

6. Flag of the United States

Hey, I thought this was easy? If you thought Krygyzstan's flag had 40 wavy rays, try drawing 50 little stars, cramped inside a blue box. And don't forget the 13 red and white stripes.

5. Flag of Brazil

See those tiny stars at the circle on the Brazilian flag below the equator? Those are constellations and you gotta draw them right to prevent screw-ups. And yes, even constellations having meanings, too. And don't forget the text on the equator.

4. Flag of Mozambique

If there is a coolest flag ever, this has to be it. A flag with an AK-47? Guess they didn't use M16s. Ever tried drawing one? And you'd have to draw it on top of a book, which is on top of a gold star on a triangle... you get the drift.

3. Flag of Croatia

Hey, this is just a tricolor and a checkerboard. Try drawing those icons on top of the checkerboard. And yeah, with all of the hues and stuff, this flag has not three, but nine colors. (Note: The thumbnail is reduced from 1,000 pixels, unlike the rest of the pictures here, to further... uh... "illustrate" the point.)

2. Flag of Turkemistan
Hey, this is just a green flag with a a crescent, stars and a red band on the left. See those cute drawings on the red band? Those are five carpet designs. Mastering one of those designs could take a week or two. Master five and a kid will go crazy. (Just as Croatia's the picture is not reduced in size so you can see the pretty carpet designs.)

1. Flag of Belarus 

You thought this is simple, eh? Try drawing the Belarussian decorative pattern.

Top 10 annoyances of... lefties

Left-handed people comprise about 10% of the population, but never has been a minority so oppressed by the majority, even Adolf Hitler will look like a baby.

I'm left-handed, but there's one stark difference: I was trained to write with the right hand. Like how the heck can a person writing with his right (oooh, "write" is synonymous with "right!" It's a travesty!) hand be called left-handed? Well, I do all of my other stuff primarily with the left hand, like eating, and, what are the other stuff you do with only one hand? I know of one, but I'd rather not say it here. Boys would know that, though.

What's even made it worse for me is that I have a lazy eye, and the lazy eye is the left eye. So I'm a person who is left-handed but writes with the right hand who primarily sees the world through his right eye.

10. Left-handed people are evil.
Ever noticed that many words pertaining to "left" are inherently bad? Like, "sinister" is Latin for "left" but if you're "sinister," you are bad. If someone leaves you, you are "left" with no one. If there are two of you, your companion is "right" beside you, even though the person may be situated on your left. We are often told to fight for our human "rights" but there are no human "lefts". If you have "two left feet" you're a bad dancer.

Ambidextrous people are efficient on both hands. Guess what is the Latin word for "right"? (Clue: It's that kid who has a laboratory.) And what's the opposite of ambidextrous? Ambisinistrous.

9. You can't play polo
Like as if I can play the sport where people ride horses, then they hit a ball with a long hammer. If you're left-handed, playing polo with the rest of the field right-handed is dangerous. Imagine yourself being trampled by horses!

8. Right-hand drive
Hey at least, the steering wheel is on the left. At least the Brits, and most recently Samoans drive on the left side of the road.

Pinoys drove on the left until 1945's Battle of Manila when Americans got all confused and ordered all traffic should be on the right.

7. Camera freak? Where's the shutter button?
Yes, on the right. Ah, this is the fault of mass production, since all manufactured goods should be created primarily for right-handed people, producing goods for left-handed people may produce a dent on profits. Getting specifically left-handed goods is either impossible, costs higher or they have to be custom made.

6. Even mice hate you.
Well, since I write with my right hand, using a computer mouse on the right side seems pretty easy. At least it's easier to implement mouse to work on the left side, since software can make you do it, and the mouse buttons have the same size. You're screwed if the table your computer is resting is suited for mice on the right side.

5. Wanna be like Prince? By "Prince" I mean the artist formerly known as Prince.
Guess what, there's a dearth of left-handed guitarists out there. Sure you can make your guitar left-handed by removing all the strings, then re-arranging them in reverse but who does that? Or you can strum in reverse.

4. Wanna cut something up?
If you're left-handed, using a pair of scissors will be a mighty pain in the ass. That's why I aced my home economics classes; my mom would do those projects at home. LOL. If you're an engineering student, life must be hell.

3. There are no left-handed fictional characters
Well sure, there might be, and you'd probably be a fan boy if you notice it, but there has to be a fictional character who is left-handed whom you can easily spot.

For one, Timmy Turner in The Fairly OddParents pitches left. And hey, one of those vampires in Twilight is left-handed too. Don't ask me how I knew those.

2. The spoon and fork are reversed.
When you go to a high-class restaurant, you'd see the spoon and fork (or the fork and spoon) on the right side of the table, with the fork on the left side of the spoon. Everywhere in that restaurant, all of them are arranged that way. Like come on, I'm not asking for restaurants to ask their customers at the entrance what hand they use most often, but they can probably reserve two tables at least in which at least one plate has the fork situated to the right of the spoon.

1. The "beak" of the dipper is situated on the "wrong" side
If you have those dippers (or in Tagalog, tabo) that has a "beak" on one side (think of it as a pitcher, only that you'll use it in a bathroom), if you hold it with the right hand, the water will naturally flow towards the beak. Now if you're left handed, the water flows to the opposite side.

Now that there is virtually no difference on which side of the dipper you'd use, but when I see water going to the "wrong" side, it feels as if I'm doing a mundane task such as pouring water into the toilet bowl wrongly, but there isn't really no right or wrong way to do it. It just sucks. Or pours.

When Donald meets Howard

It's been a long time coming, and no, I'm referring to La Salle's impending elimination in the UAAP, but it is the meeting of the two formidable ducks in Avian land: Howard the Duck and Donald Duck.

One had numerous blockbusters, spawned Jeff Van Gundy as a sports anchor, spawned Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana, and made Zac Efron male (ah wait, it was Mickey who did that).

The other bombed his movie, ruined Lea Thompson's movie career, won a Raspberry Award, and placed Ellen Page at the map with her charming performance as Kitty Pride (ah wait, it was Jean Grey and Cyclops who did that).

The two universes were created in the storyboards of artists who drew, painted, and gave life to entirely different types of characters: one were wholesome, colorful and playful. The other were violent, lively, and dark. Both were endeared by fans. They had separate fanbases. And the art gave life to movies, TV shows, music, theme parks, eh wait, I'm talking about Disney already.

What does this give us? Are we seeing the consolidation of the industry? Would one company give way? Would Miley dye her hair red to be Mary Jane? Would Nick Jonas wear tights to be Spidey? (Ooooh. Niley. Don't ask me how I learned about that.) Would Erin Andrews be the more athletic Invisible Girl? Mickey Mouse becoming bad ass to be inducted as an honarary X-Men member

A more frightening prospect would be Mark Jackson being spewed with green paint to become The Hulk.

We are at a paradigm shift. The future generations might learn about this character in another medium; but as comic books come and go, and eventually become obsolete, the characters live forever.

(This is dedicated to "Howard the Duck" creator Steve Gerber who died on February 10, 2008.)

Pics at President Cory's wake

Here are some pics I snapped while waiting in line to the Manila Cathedral:

On the first thumbnail, you can't see the Manila Cathedral's dome. You'd have to see the full pic to see it clearly.

I spent quite an amount of time looking for the end of the line. I saw the facade of the Manila Cathedral, wet from the rains, lots of TV crew vans parked on the side. On front of the COMELEC building, a fire truck has its ladders extended, carrying a large "Thank you President Cory" tarp. I snaked my way into General Luna street. The line was long, and it rained.

The line ended in front of the PLM campus at around 1:30 p.m. By then vendors were hawking their wares, from mineral water, ice candy, softdrinks, yellow umbrellas, yellow ribbons, Cory pins, yellow T-shirts, etc. The three lady government employees asked me to take them a picture, and I gladly obliged. In front of the old Capuchin seminary, cars of the ambassadors from Venezuela, Cuba, Mexico, Argentina and Turkey were seen speeding away. A few minutes later, Adel Tamano was mobbed by squeeing fangirls.

The line proceeded ever so slowly, with the rain and the sun fighting like they are attention whores. By the time we were at Plaza San Luis, Asia Brewery was distributing free mineral water. And of course, the trash boys lay in wait for you to give them your empty mineral water bottles.

By the time I was at Tamayo's catering, I had to leave so sadly I wasn't able to see President Cory. Yet the experience of waiting in line was enough for me to experience on how President Cory's life affected the lives of people. By the time I reached where I came from at around 5:30 p.m., the line was a lot longer, it has now encircled the PLM campus.

President Cory must be glad, the Filipino people really love her. They even waited for hours, in heat and in rain just to see her one last time. I am envious of the people who made it, since they saw a glimpse of her one last time.

Goodbye, Michael

Once every decade humanity experiences a death of an icon, a death that has touched the lives of everyone.

This decade, it happened twice. On 2005, Pope John Paul II died. As the decade nears its close, humanity sees another icon, albeit completely different, not as holy, but just as potent.

Perhaps what was different from Michael Jackson's death is that no one saw it coming, or to put it more aptly, no one expected it to be this soon, in this circumstance. People might have had expected a more bizarre death, like he fell off a hotel while dangling himself covered with a blanket, or probably of too much dizziness in riding those Neverland rides, or perhaps other more morbid things.

But he died via cardiac arrest. Not as creepy, but just as surprising, and mysterious.

Today's generation heard of Jackson via their parents, who were probably fanboys and fangirls of the man. They recounted to their offspring that they found their spouse at a record bar looking for the Thriller cassette tape, or at a bar while dancing to Jackson's music. He impressed your mom by embarrassing himself with his own heartfelt rendition of the moonwalk.

Another medium where today's generation learned of Jackson was via television that covered the latter years of life, away from Off the Wall and Bad – his numerous run-ins with the law, his 1993 sexual assault case that was settled out of court, his ranch turned into a theme park, his 2005 child abuse case that ended in a not guilty verdict, and now his death. We can even say the stars of today emulated him; Justin Timberlake with his grooves, and Britney Spears with her life.

We may never understand the man, nor even base it with society's standards of how a person must live, for he was different, not in the case that he was above us, but with the reason that despite we saw him everywhere, even in instances where we should've never seen him, we never really knew him.

Society treats people like Jackson differently; since he is a public figure, he should put himself above other people's expectations on how to live. Yet society overlooks the fact that people like Jackson, aside from being under the microscope constantly, had probably no idea on how to live a life worthy of society's whims; or even live a normal life.

That's why we may never understand Jackson, his logic, his morals, his life and how he displayed himself. Yet society will put those bad things behind him, and will remember Jackson not as the man who had a eccentric life, but rather as a man that was never understood, for he was an icon, who excelled in human endeavor in ways other people not scrutinized by society were never able to do.

This post has not been authorized by the Iranian government

Schindler's List won seven Oscars Awards, been voted by Germans as the best movie in 2000, and perhaps countless other multitudes the Iranian government either ignores or denies. So what better way to celebrate the two months into the fifteenth year of its Philippine release with a top 10 scenes of the film? (Yes, this was completely random.)

10. OMFG, we're so cheery we're about to get gassed!
Those poor little Jewish kids never saw it coming. While singing some Yiddish(?) song blasted over the loudspeaker, joining hands stomping their feet onto the dust, probably for the last time, they were hauled into a truck; their parents never saw it coming either, and the parents teaefully say their final goodbyes as the kids... they were still all cheery.

This has an accompanying scene that'll be mentioned later.

9. You are liberated by the Soviet Army! Now say "w00t!"...
...or else we'll shoot you, or better yet, throw you into the Warsaw ghetto, give you false hope that we're assisting you, then you Jews would have an uprising where you'll be decimated by the Nazis.

8. Where's the train? WHERE IS IT?
And I thought I hired the best Aryan drivers outside of the Reich.

7. Our factory is so bad, the Nazis didn't care.
Like seriously, either the Nazi government was falling apart, or they simply too engrossed on solving the "Jewish Question" once and for all they forgot one factory produced one crappy mortal shell after one another. The Nazis won't use mortars anyway in decimating the Jews.

6. "Now would be the time to do it. Here they are; they're all here. This is your opportunity. Or, you could leave, and return to your families as men instead of murderers."
But sir, we actually do not know how to use these rifles. Can we gas them instead? At Manila's dreadful air?

5. I said, "Why are you beating me?"
He said, "The reason I beat you now is because you ask why I beat you."

Epic.

4. "How many more do I have to type?"
Izthak, if you're too tired, I'd get a Nazi to do that for you, and he won't type anything.

3. "Their fingers polish the inside of shell metal casings. How else am I to polish the inside of a 45 millimeter shell casing? You tell me. You tell me!"
Oskar does have a point, you know.

2. Eeeew! Poop! And you're turning me away here?
Those kids were smart. No wonder Hitler really hated them for a reason.
And now you why a large part of the film was in black and white.

1. Lemme be a Nazi and I'll give a lot of Deutschemarks!
Perhaps Schindler had Filipino blood? He'd bribe his way through life. Or maybe he's Prince Caspian.

The craziest thread titles in PinoyExchange's IMTV forum

The ten threads you should be flocking to. Not the crazy NBA forum, or to the Hoops forums nobody cares about. But those LMTV threads sure take the cake (see #3).

Note: Only includes threads with replies within the last month, excluding continuation threads (too many fangirls squeeing/fanboys drooling) and off-topic threads (Be like Prince William: Learn Swahili in three days!). That's just like 356 threads of corniness.

10. •BreakingDawn•-"I love you""I wispered"'You are in my life now"~zone1
You should realize that I have to include a Twilight related thread here.

9. AI8 | ADAM LAMBERT | Blood of A True Rockstar!
Hey, if Miley Cyrus can be a rockstar, why can't this AI8 contestant be one too?

8. ms. Jennifer Aniston - America's Sweetheart thread IV
I thought prefixing "Miss" to an actress's name only applies in the Philippines. Like Ms. Vilma Santos, Ms. Judy Ann Santos, heck Ms. Kris Aquino.

7. ASHLEY TISDALE LIKES HER SELF ♥ thread 1 [ashleytics]
Didn't realize the Tiz was such a narcissist.

6. The Adorkable Anoop Desai [Home of the Desai'ples Thread II]
The thread is not about dorks, or pies, but is about AI8's Anoop. The UNC fanboy.

5. =Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens= ♥♥ZaNessa Love♥♥ HSM Sweeties- Just Wanna Be With You
This reminds me of two songs: "It's Gonna Be Me" and "I Wanna Be With You". Well, another Mandy Moore song but I won't say lest I get to be labeled as a Mandy fanboy. Heh.

4. Cook | Archuleta LIVE in the Philippines!
OhMyGosh, I'm not spending my lunch money for this!

3. Korean/JPN/TW Film/TV Etc. 6 - Home of D' Ulzzangs, Asian Idols, Boylets & Pedokrases
I am assuming this thread is about Asian telenovelas. Or something like that. Must be the few places the LMTV peeps hang out at the IMTV forum. (Full disclosure: I didn't include other Asianovela threads since they'll take the cake, see below).

2. American Idol 8's KRATT: It Is The New CAKE!!!
If you thought only fanboys had lesbian fantasies of girls doing it, you are terribly mistaken.

1. •Nessasters: Vanessa Hudgens • A Wish Upon A star • zone 01•
Yes, dad. Vanessa Hudgens fans call themselves "Nessasters." It's like disasters but hairier. And with less Zac Efron.

Of crabs, dwarves and Ateneans

A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there lies...

...heck just read it.

Since you even bothered to see what's beyond the jump, I have some Christmas goodies for ya!

Music review: creatio ex nihilo

One boring afternoon, I was listening to NU 107, aka the high-scale brother of 91.5 Energy FM; on their new music stinger, I heard the voice of a happy girl. Certainly NU 107 wasn't the place to listen happy songs, after all, Orange and Lemons won at the Rock Awards, which was the then darkest hour of Pinoy rock before one of the Hale people wore Manchester United and Real Madrid jerseys.

Guess what, that voice belong to Katie White, no, not that American soap star that kisses girls and likes it very much. Katie White the vocalist of British indie band The Ting Tings. Just like every indie band, it is a prerequisite for their band name to be prefixed with "The." Like The Kills, The Killers, The Bravery, The Strokes, The Virgins, Shiela and The Insects, and so forth. But the ting is, I wouldn't even classify The Ting Tings as rock, much less pop-rock, it's more of pop-electronica or pop-techno, the type of music Seth Cohen listens to when he wants to get laid by one Lou Palone Summer Roberts.

So what makes them different from the other dance acts such as Kylie Minogue and her younger clone named Hilary Duff and Madison Avenue (which reminds me, their type of music is alike, even the composition is identical, one pretty girl and the dude who does the dirty work)?

The difference is that their songs are of the happy variety. Sure Kylie did happy songs when she had wilder hair but it seems that nobody does that nowadays. Now we hear about Russian lesbians kissing each other and Hilary Duff on a falling elevator making out with some dude, of course with love. No, the Ting Tings doesn't do that; instead they watched a lot of White Stripes videos and came up with a subtle change -- instead of triangles, use their bare hands. Touching each other. Touching their hands.

"Shut Up and Let Me Go" is one such example. The title may not seem happy but once you'd hear the word "HEY!" you'll be transported into an alternate universe where Ryan Atwood and Taylor Townsend were strangers in The O.C. Lively guitar hooks, Katie White's lively singing and a pretty short song for people with the attention span of Chuck Bartowski.

Actually their songs on the surface may not mean anything. You can listen to "That's Not My Name" and don't care about the lyrics and enjoy yourself. But a dozen listenings will give you the idea that their songs follow the basic pop song, first verse, chorus, another verse and repeat chorus until fade. Looks boring but it isn't, since Katie White's voice is coated with sugar that makes diabetic die in a matter of seconds.

So while you may have nothing else to do and is extremely bored, doesn't want to listen to boring discussion, steal a few minutes and listen to a Ting Tings song. You won't regret it, unless you're caught.

Top 10 stupidest events of 2007

As we close out 2007, I reckoned to do what everyone else does, make their top 10 yearender lists. Very original.

10. Kobe crying for a trade when LeeeeeBron* James wrecks havoc on court.
In retrospect, if Kobe got traded to the Bulls, perhaps Scott Skiles wasn't fired.

9. Trying to cry while pinching your eyes.
It sure hurts but it won't make you cry that naturally.

And do you expect me to believe you? Ha!

8. K-Fed wrestling John Cena
Come on, Cena is great. He's better than Hogan, the Rock, Stone Cold, and all of the WWE roster combined. Even include Vinnie Mac. Cena will make mincemeat out of K-Fed.

I mean it.

7. Michael Vick's dogfights
Yes throw away everything to see dogs beat the living hell out of each other (and I mean the living hell). Then eat them for dinner. Yummy.

6. Typhoon Mina can't make up her mind
Hey at least she spared a place that has seen enough of tropical disturbances.

5. "Nothing will happen at 3 o'clock"
Yeah sure did. But something did happen 45 minutes after.

4. Jamie Lynn's not overprotected enough
Perhaps she was singing "Gimme More" when she was doing the deed.

3. Marc Nelson running at the Amazing Race Asia
He can't run for Pete's sake.

2. Manny Pacquiao running for Congressman.
Meesteer Speekir, I moob dat di nominasyun bi klosed.

1. Manny Pacquiao having his own TV show
Heck even Chris Tiu can't save the show as well as he saved the Eagles from elimination...

*BBC pronunciation. They also call Amare "Stoodamire".

What you can do... I can do better

Sibling rivalry... you can see it everywhere, George and Jeb, Jessica and Ashlee, Ehra and Michelle, Richard and that guy who is a co-federation member of one person whose name starts with a "P" (enough with the "Brokeback" jokes), but if it's Britney vs. Jamie Lynn, JLS wins hands down.

Imagine, Jamie Lynn got pregnant at a tender, young age of 16. This is like the biggest thing since French fries, even hitting the homepage of one CNN.com (take that, JLH, Alba (there seems to be a lot of them these days (it seems I really like parenthetical statements))).

Now you're asking how does that make JLS better? Lets just say Britney got pregnant when she was at her 20s, and by that time, we knew she was on her way to the trailer. The younger Spears had no history of such activity, heck the last time I saw her was when Brit was looking for her at the Teen Choice Awards (I don't watch Teenick haha). You may argue, JLS started earlier (too early if I may add) so she has a head-start, but if you're really into it, it doesn't matter when you "start."

Now you're asking, why are you reading this? You must be expecting for a Britney joke, but I should've stuck a "Gimme more" joke a while ago, but it's so cliché. Let's just say little Jamie needs all of the over-protection (can't resist) she needs.

Sing with me...
I'm just another kind of girl

And you wanna see my world

So come and run away

Don't ask me what that song is...

Willie practices his screw-up -- video taken down

Apparently, another video has surfaced showing Wowowee host practicing his "magic" on screwing-up his contestants on his TV show.

Hey, after humiliating yourself, in national, hell international TV, the host should screw you up, hahahaha

YouTube video after the jump.
Apparently, ABS-CBN ordered YouTube to take down the video. More of this crap after the jump.



As you can see, our cute little video is gone. However, I'd have to say that the YouTube video wasn't aired on TV, hence, ABS-CBN can't invoke their DMCA takedown notice unless the video was shot through their very own cameras. If the video came from an ABS-CBN employee using his/her own camera, then ABS-CBN can't sue for copyright since the copyright belongs to the person that recorded the video.

I find this rather silly by YouTube by not exploring their options fully and not investigating the matter.

However, since Blogger is owned by Google, the same company that owns YouTube, it seems YouTube is the only video-sharing website allowed here so i'd have to explore other possibilities to share this goodness. Don't worry, I've downloaded the video beforehand, suspecting ABS-CBN will invoke their "copyright" so I'll re-upload it somewhere else. Probably Rapidshare or Megaupload, so don't worry. You gotta have FLV players though, since it won't work with Windows Media Player, RealPlayer and their imitators.

Strike Three!

It's been a month already since the Writers Guild of America (aka the people who write the stories in your U.S. America TV shows) went to the picket lines. Hollywood is brought to a standstill and people with ETC have to watch reruns of Leno and Conan. Heck even Jimmy Kimmel won't "work" at the 2007 AMAs (not the computer school) and have to content himself dancing with Kellie Pickler.


Which brings me to... Heroes. Yes, that TV show where the heroine makes out with every male cast member on and off-cam (including the dog)... I've given up on Smallville already (Lois and Supergirl won't save that show), Prison Break has too many dudes and 24 just plain sucked. Hell, even Zaido would've been better......... ok, Zaido sucks, but Kokey sucks even more.

I haven't been watching Heroes that intently, I sometimes miss some eps so when I start watching again, I ask "who's this hot blonde girl who's not taller than Hornswoggle?" Even Molly looks like she grew up already, while that Indian guy won't even shave. And whatever happened to the Japanese guy? Can't use the time-space warp? It's been 20 years already so the time-space warp machine might need a little fixing, eh?

Pretty soon those who are watching the latest seasons of their favorite shows would watch the last episode of what was supposedly a 20+-episode fix. Maybe that's why Jack Bauer had to go to jail, he can't finish the job in 12 hours. Us viewers would be short-changed. Of course we need more Claire make-out sessions, or more bald guys running away from the cops, or Teri Hatcher denying she's into menopause, but what can we do? Listen to Boom-tarat-tarat in high definition stereo? Wait for a day for the latest SEA Games delayed telecast? Watch reality programs where people have to touch poo? Wait for Marissa Cooper to rise from the dead? Hope that MacGyver invents something to resolve the strike (like bowling balls, perhaps)?

Oh well, at least reruns were invented... those writers would just get a teeny-weeny from those anyway. Or better yet, buy DVDs, they won't get anything from return.

Top 10 reasons why England won't qualify for Euro 2008

10. Losing 0-3 to Estonia is stupid, even on the road.
9. England fans want McClaren sacked.
8. The Soviets hated the Jews, so the Russians will do everything to win.
7. Peter Crouch should be playing hoops along side Luol Deng.

6. Steven Gerrard has too many gay fans.
5. Jose Mourinho is still plotting his attack on the English after leaving Chelsea.
4. Looney’s dreaming about Santa this time of the year, so don’t disturb him.
3. Prince William is still too drunk from the Rugby World Cup debacle.
2. Prince William is still dreaming of Kate Middleton.
1. The Spice Girls are back.

Exploding crap hits crocodile farm

QUEZON CITY -- A big glob of crap from a crocodile farm in northeastern Manila suburb of Quezon City caused a massive explosion that caused tons of casualties. Police say that the explosion at the National Crocodile Farm was caused by accumulation of methane from the crap of crocodiles which were uncleaned since 2001, which was then triggered when a visitor decided to light a cigarette. The crocodiles inside the farm were not allowed to leave the premises for it would cause massive hysteria to the population.

"Methane gas mixed with combustible elements from the atmosphere caused the explosion," says the police officer who is a crocodile aficionado himself. He further said, that it is not a bomb, since no person would dare kill a bunch of harmless crocodiles, and no trace of an improvised explosive device was detected.

Among the casualties were crocodiles in the farm and the person who lit the cigarette. Authorities are currently pursuing a case against the carcass of the person who lit the cigarette; saying a punishment of reclusion perpetua was the maximum for such a bastardly act. However, the chief executive, who is a big Lacoste fan, didn't rule out executive clemency, saying the crocodiles can be easily replaced, as eggs are already in the pipeline by the said farm.

The authorities advised everyone to remain calm and insured no further explosions due to crap will happen soon, most especially to crocodiles.

In other news: "New York and New Jersey legislators agree to merge the states as 'New Jerk'."

The Wedding

No, this is not about Nicholas Sparks’ novel of the same title. But the characters in the novel have pretty the same ages as compared to the most anticipated wedding of the year. And no, it’s not Britney Spears’ third wedding, but just like Britney, the two parties are former divorcees. The two parties to be united are His Royal Highness, Charles Prince of Wales, and the soon to be Camilla Parker Bowles, the Duchess of Cornwall, and legally, the new Princess of Wales.

While teenage girls shrieked to the delight of seeing Princes William and Harry, the subjects of Her Royal Highness Queen Elizabeth II, wait in anticipation of the results of the wedding of Prince Charles and Mrs. Parker Bowles. In has been more than 30 years in the making. As a matter of fact, the Prince and Mrs. Parker Bowles had been affectionate to each other even before His Royal Highness’ wedding to Lady Diana Spencer. When the Prince went to the Navy, Mrs. Parker Bowles married her now divorced partner.

IS THIS LEGAL? AND WOULD BE HER TITLES?
Several had questioned the legality of the civil marriage. Nevertheless, the Lord Falconer of Thoroton said that the civil ceremony would be legal.

As for her titles, the Royal Family is walking on a tightrope between legality and public acceptance. Since the new wife of the Prince of Wales would use all of the titles Princess Diana took,, the legal experts of the Royal Family devised of new and recycled old titles for Mrs. Parker Bowles.

The Duchess of Cornwall - While the Prince is still the Prince of Wales, Mrs. Parker Bowles would be addressed to her. However, the prefix Her Royal Highess would be used even though it might prove to be unpopular to the British subjects.

Princess Consort - When Prince Charles accedes to the throne, the Duchess of Cornwall would be using the title Princess Consort which is believed to based from Queen Victoria’s husband, Albert, Prince Consort.

QUEEN CAMILLA?
Would the British subjects accept Camilla as their Queen?

If Princess Diana would still be alive today, Prince Charles wouldn’t even be thinking of having a marriage, much less an engagement to Mrs. Parker Bowles. However, due to Diana’s (shady?) death, and the length of time that has elapsed, the British people had learned to accept that days like this would come. However some Lady Diana diehards accuse of Mrs. Parker Bowles of breaking up the once fairy tale marriage.

It is true that Princess was, and still is, beloved not only by the British people, but also by many people worldwide. The Royal Family learned this truth the hard way when during Lady Diana’s funeral, the Queen took 5 full days for her to acknowledge her death. This was seen to be a very unpopular move by the British media.

The “snub” of the Queen to the wedding reflects the lesson learned during Diana’s funeral. They may say that because the Queen is the Supreme Governor of the Church of England, she can’t possibly endorse, much less attend a wedding between two divorcees. But what the heck, tha is your son’s wedding! Well, if you’re the Queen, and with the dysfunctional family she is leading, it must have been tough.

The British people are a liberal people, and they are intelligent. Divorce can’t be a hindrance when love awaits on the other side, yet the people you look up to, the people that are the symbols of your country are putting themselves under the scrutiny of the press, and being ridiculed by other people (Well that is significantly better than marrying a daughter of a drug lord, but that’s another story).

I wish the Prince and Mrs. Parker Bowles a blissful marriage. And the song says it all too well: love moves in mysterious ways. It really does.

Is Avril Lavigne a Poser?

So perhaps you’ve heard about Avril Lavigne. She burst into the music scene on 2002 with her debut album Let Go. Her first single, Complicated made her household name the world over. With the release of her next single, Sk8er Boi, her songs were classified as skater punk. And since punk is under rock, the metalheads around the world accused her of desecrating the holy name of rock n’ roll.

WHAT IS A POSER?
A poser is someone who makes you believe that she belongs to a certain group, but reality, that person’s personality and character is overly different. That person claims to be a part of a group but the majority doesn’t accept that person.

O, CANADA!
Americans have animosity towards Canadians, and vice versa. Americans hate Canada. Canada used to prevent Fox News from airing on their country. And you know what? Avril Lavigne came from the Land Up North. If she was American it would take a SNL messup before she would condemned with all of her CDs burned on a large bonfire (sounds familiar?).

IS PUNK = ROCK?
There some allegations that punk is too melodic, too rhythmic. It sounds poppish. Bland. And with the long list of great rock bands of the past decades, metalheads are outraged of what they say punkers posing as rockers.

Should rock have heavy rhythms? Noisy beats? Unintelligible lyrics? Songs about sex, drugs and violence? Music for adults? Rock was as counterculture during the 1970s (Remember the Vietnam War?). However, during the onset of the 80s, rock became a part of the mainstream. Aritsts such as Elvis Costello sang pop tunes that were considered rock hits. Heck even Madonna was a rock star.

And how about Nirvana? Where were they classified? Since they come from Seattle (a few kilometers south of the Canadian border), there was some confusion of what kind of rock they were doing. As time went by, Nirvana became the pioneers of the so-called alternative sub-genre. And with Kurt Cobain’s suicide, the rest, as they say, is rock history. More alternative bands came upon the scene, each with its own personality, its own followers, and critics.

Punk arose as a lighter brand of rock. Something girls can understand. However, the hardcore metalheads saw this as an infiltration of pop into their world. Enter Avril Lavigne. She’s Canadian, she’s eighteen, and she’s from Arista. She was ripe for the metalheads’ criticism. On message boards all over the World Wide Web, when an Avril Lavigne thread/topic was created, the second reply would be “She’s a poser!” And the posts were mostly from girls (ask Hilary Duff). Girls hate each other. Dudes would join the bandwagon and voila, Let Go went multiple platinum and Avril had her own nationwide tour.

DOES IT MATTER?
Eminem is white when he started rapping. Conservatives were outraged. But where were the hip-hop guys? They embraced Eminem with open arms, even though he’s White (though Briton Craig David had a tougher time, because, gasp!, his not American!). Should I add Michael Jackson?!

The bottom line is, you can’t please everybody. And you can’t classify everyone on a single category. Even Johnny Cash is both in the Country and Rock n Roll Hall of Fame. If Avril Lavigne isn’t a rocker, then she’s something else, but to argue against record sales (or is it sales records?) is tough.

Jealousy won’t get you somewhere. And Avril Lavigne made recording executives rich. Rocker? Maybe not. Cash cow? Yes.