January 10, 2008

2007 in sports, part 2: deaths, money and more chokejobs

We’ve been through choke jobs, upsets, and stupid Lasallians. Now we go through the news that really made 2007 the year you’d never forget.

3. R.I.P. B.A.P., or is it?
Everyone’s most hated basketball association finally got booted out by FIBA after Patrick Baumann realized that the BAP’s sending in AA-listers (lower than Z-listers) in international tournaments is worse than Guinea-Bissau winning the gold medal in men’s basketball.

But lo and behold, BAP is still very much alive and recently appointed (recently-) defeated senatorial candidate Prospero Pichay as its new president. If the Filipino people didn’t want Pichay as senator, then these BAP boys would rather force us people to fathom another crappy (actually, the word “crappy” is too honorable) team in FIBA tourneys.

We’re on the right track and we’ll be sabotaged, hell, screwed by the Taiwanese. Why can’t the government deport Graham Lim already?

2. Pacquiao wants the money
Manny Pacquiao now has a mansion in GenSan. Even Malacanang Palace is no match to this humongous structure… who knows, the value of this piece of property is enough to pay off the Philippines’ debt plus interest.

So instead of focusing on the real prize – the world title – Pac-Man still wants more $$$ so he beat up Jorge Solis. He wants more money so he beat up a named Marco Antonio Barrera. I’m not dissing Barrera but Pac-Man already beat him up already without question there’s no reason to beat him up once more. Now if I were Pac-Man, I’d rather beat-up Juan Miguel Marquez (and then some), since he’s the guy who screwed me up. Granted he’ll be facing Marquez this year but he could’ve bypassed Solis and Barrera and made Marquez sleep.

Perhaps they should add a stipulation: if the match ends in a draw, there’ll be a sudden-death overtime. Knocked down and you’re out. Now that’s prizefighting.

1. The tale of two sweeps
This year has seen two sweeps (undefeated and untied): the UE Red Warriors and the New England Patriots, but the thing is these two teams’ sweeps are different.

In UE’s case, the regular Final 4 format was scrapped for a stepladder format. In first glance this could’ve meant an easier way to the championship but after the complaints of “Araneta or nothing” (blame Fall Out Boy, or Pete Wentz, or Ashlee Simpson), “Two rest days or nothing” (they’re student-athletes, they should study first… so that the Final examination week will coincide with the Finals series) and various other stupidities that’ll make Mensa people cry, UE had a rest period of 21 days, in which it could’ve been cut to as short as 10 days. Indeed, that “rest period” may have caused UE’s chokejob, especially in a relatively short best of 3 series.

Now for everyone’s favorite team, the New England Patriots, the NFL has no special provision if a team sweeps the regular season, they’d still have to go through the playoffs (but a sweeping team would certainly get the wild card bye); this may be a better format even if you’ve swept the season since you won’t have to adjust your tactics and strategies.

Moral lesson: Make sure the “rest period” is no longer than 15 days, use the same format for all situations, and while resting, stop whispering sweet nothings to Tracy Abad.

So was 2007, if you’re looking for Barry Bonds and his drugs, he’s number zero, but since counting down to 10 to 0 is eleven counts, then it wouldn’t be top ten anymore. Maybe for another time…

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