January 8, 2008

Sports in 2007: drugs, sex, gore and violence - better than your Hollywood movie

When 2007 ended, the sporting world was reeling with cheating, choke jobs, uneventful finales, gore and violence more than actual sporting events and achievements themselves (well these achievements themselves were achieved via cheating, gore and violence so it doesn’t matter if you’d think about it).

10. Mavs eliminated in the first round
Let’s face it, this team is always screwed. Screwed by Tim Donaghy on the 2006 Finals with phantom fouls on D-Wade (pump fake, drive, fall on your opponent and shoot FTs… WTF?). Now they’re screwed by facing the GSW team coached by their former coach Nellie, who practically knows Dirk Nowitzki from his favorite milk brand to his favorite underwear. Oh well, the NBA did this with Portland (remember the 8-on-5 handicap Game 7 against the Lakers?) so everyone knows they’re just being screwed.

9. England and France made it to the semifinals
Two more of those results you didn’t expect that’ll happen: Australia (which just white washed England) and New Zealand were eliminated at the quarterfinals of the Rugby World Cup. Heck even Prince William forgot about his Queen grandmother when he heard the news.

8. SMC teams lord it over
You must know that the 2006-07 Philippine Cup Finals was screwed. Hey at least they provided like 2 exciting games out of 3 blowouts. But why should Ginebra win? Why?!

7. Game KNB debacle
Now you know they shout “Bobo La Salle.” It’s very well damn true! Lasallians must think Toronto is an American city. I bet they can even point where U.S.A. is on a European map.

6. I can outdo LeBron even while fishing
While the world was watching LeBron single-handedly make the Pistons cry like the Lakers of 2004, Kobe hatched up a scheme even Aaron Burr would be proud: cry to the world you want to be traded while LBJ is wowing the world; the world promptly forgot about LBJ and suddenly all of the Kobe and Lakers fanboys sprouted like mushrooms. Hey at least Tim Duncan made it more boring when they swept the Cavs in June.

5. Hotties falling for playas
First we had the football wives, then Victoria Beckham, then the tsunami followed. Now a no-namer like Marko Jaric got the hottie. Girls must be in it for the $$$

4. Murder or ordinary death?
Even Gil Grissom won’t be able to solve this in 60 minutes. Was Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer murdered or did he die “from natural causes”. Whatever the case, if you can watch a sport that takes like a week to finish then I’ll give you a year’s supply of hotdogs. (OK, the CWC was done using the one-day international format but who knows what does that mean)

The top 3 sporting events tomorrow.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are absolutely not moderated. Comments are displayed immediately once posted. Comments can be only be removed by the author (if signed in to a Goggle or OpenID account) or if requested by someone else with good reason.