GG: The story thus far...

A few hours from now, a new episode of "Gossip Girl" will air and will in part answer some of our questions and open up new ones. But if you're a GG noob, and is fascinated by the OMFG ad campaign and wants to be in the loop and can't really read the 16+ page episode summaries found at TWOP, this is the place for you.

New episodes start today, and by a month’s time we’d all be waiting for a new set of episodes for the next half-year so for those GG noobs, you better read this before diving into shark-infested waters.

Serena van der Woodsen (S) arrives back from boarding school after leaving abruptly when she found out her younger brother Eric (E) tried to commit suicide; Blair Waldorf (B) doesn’t seem to happy to see her. The two former BFFs make up but B is devastated when BF Nate Archibald (N, not the New York Knicks player) reveals to her that he and S had sex, which was apparently the reason she left. S and Dan Humphrey (D) meet at the Palace when D was to return S’s phone. D’s sister Jenny (J) attends B's party in which she was almost raped by B's friend Chuck Bass (C), if not for D and S gatecrashing the party and rescuing her, much to B's disgust.

B reveals to S that she didn’t want anything to do to her; S meets D again but S’s mother Lily (L) told her to go to C’s father’s (Bart) brunch. While at the brunch, B and C reveals to D about S’s relationship with D; S tried to reason out with D but he left anyway. Meanwhile J becomes a part of B’s circle. Lily (L) and D’s father Rufus (R) discuss their old relationship – when R was a rock star, L was his groupie.

Meanwhile, N’s father the Captain, who is busy negotiating with B’s mother Eleanor on taking her fashion line public, wants him to attend Dartmouth but N doesn’t want to. This leads him to give his Ivy Week ushership position to D. B reveals to the school that S has a drug problem after C spotted S going to a treatment center. S left the gathering humiliated but not before D expressed admiration to her for protecting E (E told J, who told D, about his attempted suicide). E showed his suicide scars to B, leading to B+S’s reconciliation.

B and S had another spat but they worked it out with D’s help. D and S had their first date but S was disappointed when D “treat” her to a fancy restaurant, D relents and they go to a pool hall. J goes to B’s sleepover in which she was embroiled in an intense game of truth or dare. J and B jailbreaks E from the center which caused S and D to cancel their already heating up date to fetch E. L went to R’s house over her worry over E. S and D successfully find E, J and B and called home to inform their parents, as and they brought E back to the center and J and B continued their game. J used her cunning to escape arrest after a craftily arranged dare by B. E was later fetched by L, who had earlier spoken to R’s wife Alison, to release him permanently; D and S share their first kiss.

D’s friend Vanessa Abrams (V) returns from Vermont to stay for good. When D lied to S about V, S didn’t invite him to B’s masked ball, causing B’s friends to find a date for her. J became B’s handmaiden hoping she’ll be invited but was disappointed when she wasn’t invited. V and D arranged a date but D canceled it after finding out about S’s condition on the masked ball. N finds cocaine in their house. He confronted the Captain about it but he said he’ll drop the habit. When N found out that his dad continued the habit, he tried going to B but she was too busy so he went to S. After advising him, he lustfully squeezed S’s finger which caused his dismissal. V and J hatch a plan to gatecrash the masked ball in which J had payback over C as she locked him at the rooftop. D and S make up and they made out which was witnessed by V. D pursued V but she got away. Meanwhile, L takes R to Eleanor’s party to make Bart jealous. S and J exchange masks, in which leads to N kissing J, who thinks she is S. B got mad as N wasn’t able to find her before midnight as D and S made up once again and kissed along the streets.

C asks Bart to invest in a burlesque club but after spotting him in an uncompromising situation, he drops the plan. C followed Bart when he saw an Asian girl riding with his dad on the limo; he drank the night away and on the next day, he revealed to L what he saw. Meanwhile, D and S were making out when they were interrupted first by V, then by R. Eleanor reveals to B about N’s mother (Anne) plan to give the family ring to N so he can give it to B. But it all goes for naught when J reveals to B what N did to her at the party. Bart and the Asian girl returned to the burlesque club in which he approved C’s plan, but C admitted to Bart what he revealed to L, who spent the night at R’s art gallery. The Captain and N had a confrontation outside B’s house in which the police caught the Captain possessing drugs. B confronted N about what J revealed to her which led to their breakup. D and S were in the point of having sex but stopped and just cuddled the night away. B found relief and performed a burlesque number in front of C; at the limo on the way home, the two had sex. J went upstate to fetch Alison home.

R was quite happy to see J bring Alison home, but D wasn’t as happy. B later finds out the necklace she reserved was bought, thinking N was the one who bought it. On B’s birthday party, C professed his love for B in which B hastily dismisses. Meanwhile, D brought V over to the party, hoping she and S would find “common ground.” The 2 did find common ground, much to D’s relief. N was about to go to the party, but relented when he saw J and instead strolled around town. N revealed the ring he was supposed to give to B to J and they agreed not to show up for the party. B was extremely depressed, in which C took advantaged of as he presented to her the necklace she reserved. The two made out again but they were discreetly seen by S.

On Thanksgiving, S confronted B about C in which B “disinvited” her from the Thanksgiving dinner. D then invited the van der Woodsens to the Humphrey loft to share Thanksgiving dinner. While eating dinner, the children learned of L’s past with R and Alison. Meanwhile, B was devastated when she found out her dad (Harold) won’t be arriving. Feeling depressed, B’s bulimia was first manifested as she gobbled up a pie. B was invited to the Humphreys by S to offset her loneliness. R was forced to choose between Alison and L and he chose his wife. The Captain was rushed to the hospital after an overdose of medicine. Eleanor reveals to B that she and Harold were going to have a divorce. The van der Woodsens and the Humphreys then spent the rest of thanksgiving separately.

At the annual debutante ball, L’s mom (CeCe) demands L for S to join the ball. S obliges but CeCe doesn’t want D to be a part of S’s life so she attempts to buy off D. The Humphrey men talked about this and D confronted S about her grandmother. Meanwhile, N and B will be partners for the ball; while C and B were keeping their relationship under wraps, C uses N’s rival Carter Baizen and tells “Gossip Girl” that he is the “new guy” B is dating. At the ball, C causes a scene, which causes B to break up with him. At the art gallery, L calls D to invite him to the ball telling him that S changed for the better; D obliges. B gets back with N and they had sex for the first time, C leaves for Monaco, and Alison notices the changes in J’s character.

On Christmas week, Harold returns from France, tagging along Roman, his lover. Meanwhile, N and C spend Christmas at Monaco as C texts B that he’ll reveal to N their affair. R finally meets Alison’s lover where he learns that Alison hasn’t broke off with him. V presents to D a New Yorker issue in which his story was published. Ecstatic, S is determined to one-up V and buys D an expensive watch; D refuses to receive the gift, instead they make a deal that their gifts should be less than $50. D and J “stole” a Christmas tree to make the van der Woodsen suite more homey, while S, with the help of V, transformed her room into a winter wonderland with fake snow; D and S finally had sex in her room as E and S felt astonished to find the Christmas tree in their suite as Bart proposes to L while R was calling her outside the Palace. Meanwhile, with much difficulty, B finally gets along with Roman after Harold assures her that a room is waiting for her in France.

While D and V were at the Humphrey apartment, S calls and invites D to go to the school for a pool party. Tagging V along, a freak accident causes the students to leave the pool; however a cellphone that was left revealed the participants of the heist, but not before V films C possessing the key to the pool. The new headmistress is firm to punish the person responsible for the heist; B organizes a “party” in which the classmates will plan on what to do. B seizes the key away from C, and D confronts C about the key. C tells him that due to his social status, he can still emerge scot-free from the issue, unlike D. Meanwhile, N notices that B has been cold to him (due to C’s blackmailing) and he gives a love letter to B. Noticing a key in B’s drawer, he gets it while B is away. Meanwhile, B and C were caught by V discussing their affair; the couple demands the tape but D tags V home. The next day, N produces the key to the headmistress but she notices that the keychain is missing; sensing N is lying, she suspends him in front of the class. S admits to D that she possessed the key, getting it from the swimming captain when she had an affair with him. Being called by the headmistress, D refuses to give in S. Meanwhile, back at the Palace, S confronts L about her mom’s relationship with R, saying she’d rather be C’s stepsister than D’s. With this, L finally ends her relationship with R. Going back to school, S admits to the headmistress that she the one at fault but she’s dumbfounded when she found out that she’ll “only” do community service and won’t get expelled. She later finds out during the Bass-van der Woodsen dinner that it was Bart who bought off the school officials. With Bart and C breathing down her neck, she leaves for Brooklyn to be with D.

S was found buying a pregnancy kit, and the whole school via “Gossip Girl” then knows about it, even R who read it on J’s laptop. D confronts S about this, telling that he loves her, but S tells him that the pregnancy kit isn’t for her but for B. She then heads to B to confront her but B remains steadfast in refusing. S asks D for advice about the issue in which their discussion was overheard by J. B eventually relents and calls S that she’s not pregnant. Extremely happy, B encounters C in which she told him to stop. C then texts “Gossip Girl” about B’s affairs with two men; when N reads this he refused to believe it until J tells him what she heard the night before. C and N then had an altercation outside the school. N breaks up with B, and her circle of friends drops her as the “queen bee.” B confronts S, asking her if D knows about her affairs, after saying yes, B severs her newly-restored friendship with S. Even C, wanting to save his friendship with N, refuses to get back with her. S confronts D about how J knew B’s affairs, but D says he doesn’t and professes his love for her again. Not getting a suitable response, D leaves S. Seeking advice, S talks to E where he tells her that as little siblings, he could’ve done what J did. Meanwhile, B asks Eleanor to flee to France. S makes up with D before she stops B from going away to France.