May 9, 2009

This post has not been authorized by the Iranian government

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Schindler's List won seven Oscars Awards, been voted by Germans as the best movie in 2000, and perhaps countless other multitudes the Iranian government either ignores or denies. So what better way to celebrate the two months into the fifteenth year of its Philippine release with a top 10 scenes of the film? (Yes, this was completely random.)

10. OMFG, we're so cheery we're about to get gassed!
Those poor little Jewish kids never saw it coming. While singing some Yiddish(?) song blasted over the loudspeaker, joining hands stomping their feet onto the dust, probably for the last time, they were hauled into a truck; their parents never saw it coming either, and the parents teaefully say their final goodbyes as the kids... they were still all cheery.

This has an accompanying scene that'll be mentioned later.

9. You are liberated by the Soviet Army! Now say "w00t!"...
...or else we'll shoot you, or better yet, throw you into the Warsaw ghetto, give you false hope that we're assisting you, then you Jews would have an uprising where you'll be decimated by the Nazis.

8. Where's the train? WHERE IS IT?
And I thought I hired the best Aryan drivers outside of the Reich.

7. Our factory is so bad, the Nazis didn't care.
Like seriously, either the Nazi government was falling apart, or they simply too engrossed on solving the "Jewish Question" once and for all they forgot one factory produced one crappy mortal shell after one another. The Nazis won't use mortars anyway in decimating the Jews.

6. "Now would be the time to do it. Here they are; they're all here. This is your opportunity. Or, you could leave, and return to your families as men instead of murderers."
But sir, we actually do not know how to use these rifles. Can we gas them instead? At Manila's dreadful air?

5. I said, "Why are you beating me?"
He said, "The reason I beat you now is because you ask why I beat you."


4. "How many more do I have to type?"
Izthak, if you're too tired, I'd get a Nazi to do that for you, and he won't type anything.

3. "Their fingers polish the inside of shell metal casings. How else am I to polish the inside of a 45 millimeter shell casing? You tell me. You tell me!"
Oskar does have a point, you know.

2. Eeeew! Poop! And you're turning me away here?
Those kids were smart. No wonder Hitler really hated them for a reason.
And now you why a large part of the film was in black and white.

1. Lemme be a Nazi and I'll give a lot of Deutschemarks!
Perhaps Schindler had Filipino blood? He'd bribe his way through life. Or maybe he's Prince Caspian.

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