TV is the bomb; if you’re bored, just watch TV and you’ll be jumping with glee or sobbing like Ashley Ferl or you want to eliminate the entire Muslim population like Jack Bauer. But who are the TV characters that make you watch even more?
10. Michael Scofield (played by Wentworth Miller on “Prison Break”)
Seriously, I really don’t get this show. Lots of white guys running from the law, jailbreaking using a kettle, like WTF. And there’s like one girl to keep the male population tuned in and they killed her. Woohoo.
9. Paula Abdul (herself on “American Idol”)
Everytime I watch AI, I wish that fast forward buttons were invented for TVs because everytime she speaks it seems she forgot to take her medications. And standing in every damn freaking performance.
8. Izzie Stevens (played by Katherine Heigl on “Grey’s Anatomy”)
Seriously, this show has more sex than a 5-hour porn flick. (Does a 5-hour porn flick even exist?) And she bakes more muffins than a bakery. Come on, how stupid can it get?
7. Troy Bolton (played by Zac Efron on “High School Musical 2”)
This character screams gayness. Really. Go watch the music video where he all by his lonesome doing the gayish dance moves. She’s even more girly than Gabriella – heck he’s even prettier than her in some angles.
6. Robby Stewart (played by Billy Ray Cyrus on “Hannah Montana”)
Back in the day, I danced “Don’t Break My Heart” on the annual field demo. Now, if someone can’t recognize you with a mustache the writers must really suck. This is like worse than the writers saying Chloe Sullivan survived when her house exploded on Smallville’s third season.
5. Lyka Raymundo (played by Angel Locsin on “Lobo”)
If your character loses her clothes every time she transform into lobo, then why does her clothes return when she reverts back to human form? Even Son Gokou loses his clothes when he reverts back to human form after he transforms into a giant ape. And we would really want to see Angel Locsin naked and less air time for Zac Efron’s federation mate.
4. Adil (played by Jordan Metcalfe on “Genie in the House”)
I don’t know what the deal with this guy is. He’s a genie, afraid of spiders and has stupid magic. I know it’s a children’s program but for the love of everything good, can’t children watch smarter TV programs? Like Zoey 101 for example, where they tackle the touchy issue of teenage pregnancy and rumormongers who snap your pictures from outta nowhere.
3. Kim Bauer (played by Elisha Cuthbert on “24”)
Why every action movie/TV show lead star’s daughter should has to be kidnapped by the bad guys? Lucy McClane (No! It’s “Gennero”) was kidnapped but she still looked hot. When Kim was first kidnapped it was understandable but if she would be kidnapped after the hour she was rescued, it means the writers can’t have anymore family members to use as bait.
2. Nate Archibald (played by Chace Crawford on “Gossip Girl”)
When “The O.C.” had Marissa, “Gossip Girl” has Nate Archibald. Eternally clueless, stoned and dumbfounded. Yes, even if he’s not taking coke he still IS stoned. And he even had a downer of the scene with the one and only “Chuck Bass.” Now lemme make some French fries…
1. Marimar Santibanez (played by Marian Rivera on “Marimar”)
Marimar beats out Jack Bauer in hunting down terrorists. If you’ve watched the show’s 2-hour long series finale, it seems it was taken out of the 24 playbook the only difference is that Jack Bauer is a girl, and the terrorist is hot. Run around a desolate place at night, have a bunch of goons chasing you, lots of decaying cars, helicopters and gators. Did you see how Marimar smashed Angelica’s hand with the car door? Oooh Papa Jack would be proud.