I should've been writing on how the Hawks, YES THE HAWKS THAT FLY, just handed the 6,578th reason for the Celtics to fire Doc Rivers, or how "the" David Stern is making it too damned sure that the Lakers would make it to the Finals that I've switched allegiances from the Mavs to the Lakers, or how the Defensive Player of the Year award is really the consolation MVP award, or how Chelsea kicked Manchester United's red devil ass (ha!) but what the hell, let's just recap the last GG episode, because you know you love this blog.
There's one concept that maybe foreign to you, though. It's the SAT Reasoning Test so you'd better brush up on this one. It's like the UPCAT but you can retake it, which makes it a VERY BIG plothole later, so...
With that out of the way, the entire junior class are having the time of their lives reviewing for the SATs. Apparently, Dan Humphrey is the Tracy McGrady of St. Jude's so it seems he really needs to study triple time. Nate really doesn't care about SATs so he hooks up with some random girl named Vanessa and they share a hot kiss that almost broke the glass doors of some random cafe. Jenny loves canines, and she even tags along Elise. Blair wants to mess the life - and the SAT - of the resident nerd named Nelly Yuki (Really, she should haven't hated Flo Rida. She should've hated Nelly or Nelly Furtado. But that'll be corny.), and Chuck is being a great "brother" to Serena when her friend of months past returns -- Georgina Sparks, no relation to the "A Walk to Remember" author.
We've been hyped that how Georgina will turn Serena's life upside-down so we first see her after Dan and Serena's second make out of the episode. Since G doesn't know S has changed, G borrows from S's playbook of having a make-up session (remember on "Pilot" where Blair and Serena first met at the steps?) so the two meet up, speak really bad Russian accents, meet up with a guy from "As the World Turns" and Serena freaks out and calls Chuck. Apparently they're siblings now so she's open to him now, and she forgot that Chuck almost raped her before he targetted younger meat. Nevertheless, siblings cover for each other so Chuck calls the brother of the younger girl he almost raped and tells him that she has food poisoning.
The next morning Serena told Dan that her migraine's gone... seems that Serena borrowed from Jenny's book on mixing up Bendel's and Berdgorf's (like I know what they are). This makes Dan hella confused like Nate so he leaves the siblings in the Constance courtyard. We next see G calling S to make up on first make up session. S makes G make up for their botched make up session.
Remember Blair's birthday party where Dan told Serena they'd have a date on which he'd tell her his history until she begs him to stop? Guess what, it's now a 360-degree turn where G wants S to share her secrets of being a good grrrrrl. Just when S is away, G spikes S's drink and S blacks out and she wakes up in G's bed. Hmmmmmm. Guess who she calls? Of course Kuya Chuck. Woohoo.
It's SAT day and entire junior class except the van der Bass siblings are taking the test. Dan and Blair see Nate and Vanessa getting in a car and they stand together. Too bad they didn't make out in broad daylight. Booo. Loved Blair's face though. So cute.
Lonely Boy goes to Suite 1812 of the Palace and they have a Darena moment - only to find out that C and S had incest. Not really but S doesn't want to divulge who G is to anyone even to dear Kuya. So she proposes a date next day, and we almost had a D+C moment but they won't do that on network TV... maybe.
S goes to G and pulls out her best angry face look... not seen since episode... never. G is a big time bitch so she'd pulls up a fast one - she spots D at Central Park and calls her dog Georgy and she is Sarah. Sarah+Dan+Georgy has a chummy moment as the episode ends.
Doesn't this episode feel like Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban where we just wasted a week reading only to find out Sirius Black wasn't the perp? Or the Matrix Reloaded where the plot was only half of Revolutions but we'd had to pay each movie for the price of one? Or 24 in which the bomb wasn't really the bomb but was found somewhere else? Hey, at least TV is for free. Hope they pay us back with a bitcher episode next week. On the network no one watches.
D: I've been waiting for you
C: All your life?
J: ...and he loves animals!