May 4, 2008

Top 10 reasons why the Celtics would win Game 7

After predicting that England would not qualify for Euro 2004 and Kobe would be MVP, now is the time to give out the top 10 reasons why the Celtics will beat the Hawks that fly on Game 7.

10. Because Game 7 is at the Emerald Isle.
TD Banknorth Garden is in impenetrable fortress not seen since the Boston Garden of old. With its parquet floor, the Celtics have the emperor of home court advantages.

9. Doc Rivers in a GREAT coach.
Seriously, this guy is a genius. He may even surpass Red Auerbach in greatness.

8. The Boston Three Party won't let up
Especially if you have the super-PG known to the world as Rajon Rondo. Oh yeah, baby!

7. Only Flip Saunders chokes in the playoffs.
As per #9, only Flip flips out during the spring. All other 29 coaches in the NBA have nerves of steel. Flip sucks, period.

6. Green is the color of victory.
So says the La Salle commercial plastered for like half a year on Studio 23 after they bought off the referees to win their 8th seventh UAAP men's basketball trophy.

5. The Celtics are not the Patriots
Who'd lose in the crucial moments. Ask the Manning brothers, and David Tyree.

4. They won't meet Bruce Bowen until the finals
So his hip-checking tactics won't be felt until June.

3. They're not playing in the light bulb anymore.
Where they have to contend seeing hot chicks near their bench. Such as this:

2. Antoine Walker is in the NBA badlands
Where he shoots bricks. And lives to tell about it.

1. David Stern will make it damned sure he'll recoup his Finals losses last year.
After the debacle known to man as the 2007 NBA Finals, the NBA has to make money or else the freaking NHL gets to be on SportsCenter.

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