May 7, 2008

Spotted! New York Knicks edition

If you haven't, read Part 1 of the recap first!

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I figured having a map would be good enough guide for us to know what the hell is happening.

And since I can't find a decent pic of Nate Archibald, might as well use the Knicks logo.

Part 2 follows. If you don't want to be spoiled , go away! Listen to Lito Camo songs. Happy thoughts. Happy memories. Nice.

Jenny is at the Hornsby residence. And Asher's busy on his laptop flirting with cream-colored pants-wearing mini-Chuck. And Jenny is hot on the Constance Billard uniform. Really short skirt, like those in Japanese anime. And Jenny's so hot she'll explode so she seduces Asher. What, 15 year olds can seduce now? Since when? Since Britney taught Jamie Lynn the birds and the bees. But Asher, as gay as he is tells Jenny what Chuck told Dan 5 episodes ago: I'm from the Upper East Side and you're from Brooklyn. You don't use me, I use you. Gotcha?

Meanwhile, Serena still thinks Georgina is off to the Alps to live the great life in the great and neutral country they call Spitzerland Switzerland. Georgina being the very friendly person that she is, sent S a gift. And since small things come in small packages, and VCDs are so early 2000s, G gives S a new USB drive! But it's not really new since there something inside. A video! A sex video?! With all that scary background music, let's listen to what the people at the video are saying:

Georgina: If you'll put the camera there, she'll never know.
Guy: Are sure she's gonna be down for this?
Georgina: It's Serena! She goes down for anything.
Serena: Hey baby? How are the new Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd?
Video fast-forwards, and with sound effects. How can anyone do that?
Serena: It's hot... I'm too hot
More moans and groans
Serena closes the laptop... wait. Aren't you supposed to shut down that damned thing? A lot of TV shows and movies just switch computers off outta nowhere without actually shutting them out. What gives?

Serena hides the USB drive, goes out of her room, meets Lily who just met the last person S wants to see: Georgina. And she's eating at the family dinner. Woohoo.

Back at Brooklyn, it's the confrontation that made Achilles and Hector in Troy look like Sam and Piolo. the Humphrey children bitchfight! And I didn't know that Taylor Momsen, aside from releasing her lines with such utter conviction to make Kaitlin Cooper cry, can push Dan to her room's door. To think she's bordering on the Olsen body type.

Blair called Serena, probably to warn her of the impending "outtage" since she has some incriminating evidence. S says she's busy so she goes to the van der Woodsen dinner table, where the crazy psycho bitch Georgina finally outs Eric, the type not seen since Lolit Solis outted Piolo. With such an OMFG moment, Lily tries her darndest best to put an OMFG face but since she fails, she just covers her face with her hands. Eric is busted and Serena is pissed, just as how Stan Van Gundy was pissed off the other night.

And while the van der Woodsens are having their own family drama, the Humphreys have their own -- Jenny is sneaking to go to their party. But since American parents really can't do anything to stop their children from disobeying them, Jenny gets out unscathed. If the Humphreys were Pinoy, binitin nang patiwarik ni Rufus si Jenny.

Serena wearing a really short skirt that shows her legs that goes forever has a girl-to-girl talk with her "brother" Eric and since she's the complete opposite of the male Humphreys, she accepts her "brother" no matter what. And Eric will go to the par-tay. Jenny and Asher's party, in which Blair crashed in a style not seen since Jenny crashed her own masquerade ball (Carter Baizen's crashing of the Chuck's Lost Weekend party was lame).

Sara(h), Vanessa and Dan are warming up with each other when Serena arrives. Dan introduces Sara(h) to Serena and this is the fakest moment of the episode. If I were Serena I would've freaked out already. But why would she not freak out? What does Serena and Georgina know that not even Chuck can't know? But apparently Sara(h) would've brought the house down but too bad she changed her mind, thanks to Serena's great persuading powers.

Meanwhile, Blair is soooooo totally willing to drop the gay bomb but since she "loves" Eric she hesitated. But when Eric crashed the party and gave her his permission, the bomb was dropped. And Asher blurted out what should've not been allowed on primetime network TV:
"Kick this faggot outta here!"

Which seriously should've been the first order of business everytime Piolo is in town. But...

So B sends to GG the scoop of the spring, takes down both Asher and Jenny, got Eric's permission, and make sure no other freshie does what Jenny just did. How about Eric? After Lily confides to Rufus what happened, mommy still accepts her "son." Oh. So. Sweet. And Jenny? She did what the French did: Wave the white flag.

Outside the Brooklyn coffeehouse late at night (they drink coffee on late night? Hey, if Conan O'Brien Jojo A. does that then everyone can), Dan is really confused. Is S freaked out, jealous, shocked to Sara(h)? What? If there's one thing Nate is good at, it's being confused. Too bad he wasn't here (and we're given a sorta explanation why Chuck is absent but where the hell is Nate?), he could've given Dan some tips on how to look stoned without being stoned.

The Humphrey men are playing a therapeutic session of Scrabble when Jenny arrives. Beaten down, depressed, knocked out, all of the sad and pathetic emotions all rolled into one. However unlike Blair whose parents are either gay or are absent, Jenny still has an understanding father to go to, where she hugs with emotion expressing regret, sorrow and being sorry. Too bad she's grounded until she's 25.

And you think the episode's finished? If you still haven't watched the episode and made it this far, I'd say the episode's last scene is too heavy to put on words. In other words, I won't fail you. Just watch it. Below.

Next on Gossip Girl: Isiah Thomas makes a cameo as The Captain's supplier of coke, Piolo Pascual as Asher's new boyfriend, and Serena drops the realest reason why she left town: she and Blair are lovers. On the network no one watches. Really.

P.S.: Props to DJ Kelly for playing "Apologize" on her show last night. Much appreciated.

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