April 18, 2009

2009 Eastern Conference Playoffs, OTH style

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usSince its playoffs time, we'd also have the annual preview. But since my 2008 previews bombed , I gotta look for ways to continue this.

So, let's recast "One Tree Hill" with the teams from the 2009 Eastern Conference playoffs. Like who's the hottest brunette on Tree Hill, North Carolina, and which team will carry over their regular season hotness to playoff level. The Western Conference will star as "90210" a little later.

Idea "inspired" from The Dagger, the Yahoo! Sports NCAA blog.

30 teams, 30 stories, or in this case, this was "4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days" in the making. LeBron James and the Cavs are now the #1 seed overall ever since their first splash into the playoffs 4 years ago. Where they made the Wiz was shocked by one Damon Jones, and where the Cavs took the defending champions to the limit.

Nanny Carrie
The crazy psycho-bitch nanny.
Boston Celtics. You know what's crazier than The Truth delivering guarantees like he's The Sheed? It's potentially playing the playoffs without KG. But don't worry, another psycho-bitch is here to save the day: the greatest PG this side of the ocean to take care of the fort.

Antawn "Skills" Taylor
There's another reason why we called him Skills
Miami Heat. D-Wade is the 2-time Skills Challenge champ, so we gotta give this to him. And after he made short work of Kobe at the 2007 Skills Challenge (who even remembers that?), he'd been showing the bling-bling on each and every occasion. And David Stern will make it damned sure that he milks D-Wade for all of his worth.

Haley James Scott
That MILF-next-door.
Chicago Bulls. It would've been logical that we chose Chicago as the rival of nanny Carrie. And like since they are the hottest Eastern Conference team outside Boston and Cleveland, it's a perfect fit. And (this is like the second "and" already), with KG out for the entire first round, Da Baby Bulls will atone for their woeful 07-08 season, with Derrick Rose atoning for the "almost" NCAA championship of 2008.

Jason the band dude
Hint: This was played by Britney's ex
Kevin Federline's shining moment in OTH was when he was bitch-slapped by Q, who'd die later. At least he had a longer exposure here than on WWE where he was... bitch-slapped by John Cena. The Pistons should've hoped Isiah Thomas didn't accept that job at FIU and instead made a neighborhood hug with Joe Dumars. So that the playoffs will last shorter.

Mia Catalano
My appearances are so random I don't know what my role is
Atlanta Hawks. Mia (Kate Voegele) loves to sing, and she made it big. So Atlanta's hoping for the breakthrough, since after all, the last time that franchise won a series, Mike Bibby had hair. But can she hurdle "Skills"? Or maybe Skills likes older women, and I'm referring to the OTH Skills.

Rachel Gatina
I'm so hot... and wasted
Orlando Magic. With the Magic's depth compromised numerous injuries, they'll need more than just the hot play of the Superman to beat the likes of... the next team.

Peyton Sawyer
I'm blonder than Serena van der Woodsen!
Philadelphia 76ers. Philly might had the luck of the draw. Aside from Boston, Orlando is the other of the higher seeds that had been plagued by injury problems. Good thing Elton Brand isn't playing or else... he'll get pwned by D-Howard.

Brooke Davis
Screw you Peyton, I'm the hottest girl, period!
Cleveland Cavaliers.
The Cavs are the hottest thing in the NBA as Brooke is the hottest girl who made division the hottest thing in math. C/B = Cleveland over Boston.

4 Years, 6 Months, 2 Days. The journey is just beginning.

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