I promised myself I'd be unbiased as possible when I do this, since the last time I had this, I placed the Lakers so low they made it all the way to Finals only to be arse-raped by the Celtics.
So yes, you won't see the other LA team here. Or the Celts. One hour from now.
#20: New York Knicks
A lot is awesome at New York today. The Yankees are in the postseason, the Mets have a new ballpark, Mike Comrie is now banished from the city, which probably brings down the hotness factor since Hilary Duff isn't always in the city, but the Upper East Side chicks more than compensate the departure of hotness, and Duff even guest starred! And the Knicks? They play on prime real estate, with the Rangers.
#19: Milwaukee Bucks
Bucks are hard to measure. It's a given Michael Redd won't be enough to carry this team around, and they probably need a better coach, but the Playoffs won't be a long shot for this team.
#18: Houston Rockets
Trevor Ariza, you did all of what you did last year for what? To watch more Texans games? You should've went to the Mavs instead, I heard they'll play the All-Star Game at Cowboys Stadium. Hmmm. Cowboys Cheerleaders. Fat guys dancing on center court. Ah Trevor, you missed out!
#17: New Orleans Hornets
What's with this team with the centers not feeling the love? Chandler and now Okafor. Even Birdman went to Denver. And if you're into history, even Mourning went to Miami. At least everyone remembered the great PGs of this franchise: Bogues, Davis and Paul. Too bad Chris won't get enough help other than from David West.
#16: Phoenix Suns
What's with Amar'e wanting to spell his name as "Amer'e" Is he pissed Mike D'Antoni stole his apostrophe? I feel bad for Steve Nash, he should've joined Shaq on his way to Cleveland, as if that'll work under the salary cap rules.
#15: Washington Wizards
The Wizards Big 3 never got together in like half a decade already (I'm half-exaggerating). They could've volted in this season but it'll wait with another preseason casualty: this time, it's Antawn "I can't even guard a monoblock chair" Jamison.
#14: Oklahoma City Thunder
It'll be like Bobcats last year: it was so close, yet it was so far. Durant and Westbrook will be chummies for years to come, unless management breaks them up.
#13: Utah Jazz
The Northwest will be hell. It's like snow all day only that it burns through your skin like Russian blizzards. Good thing AK-47's still there. Wait, is he?
#12: Toronto Raptors
Speaking of snow, our perky friends from the North are itching to wreck Toronto for reasons other than the Maple Leafs. This season might be it. Plus, SONNY WEEMS IS NOW A DINOSAUR! WEEEEEEEEEEE!
#11: Philadelphia 76ers
Sixers are a season or two away from a breakthrough: if they let go Elton Brand. In a non-big-3 Eastern Conference, they can be the middle-of-the-pack team no one knows how to tackle.
Later at tip-off time: The top 10.