October 28, 2009

Top 10: 09-10 NBA countdown

Ah the top 10. You can be sure these ten teams would make it past the playoffs, heck even up to the Conference Semifinals, unless something catastrophic happens, like Kobe joining AI in Memphis. Or T-Mac high-fiving Oden at some sauna in Quezon Ave.

In this Top 10 edition, each team is associated with a Disney song. To make us all happy and perky this coming NBA season.

#10: Atlanta Hawks

While Josh Childress is on his way too extended Greek Holiday, the Hawks are at a crossroads. Young bigs, and Mike Bibby who is more famous for making non-aficionados mix him up with Doug Christie (both are white, bald and wear headbands). At least it's not as bad as MSNBC's Contessa Brewer.

#9: Denver Nuggets

Last season was "So Yesterday." But it's a brand new year, and Melo still must have a hangover. Wake up, Melo, the Nuggets are in for a long ride. At least Chauncey thinks he'll have John Elway's powers when he wears his number.

#8: Portland Trail Blazers

The present-day Jail Blazers are "Stranger" at the top. They haven't been there, and they almost went there, but due to tiebreaking complications even David Stern can't explain, they got the #4 seed, which meant a showdown with the T-Mac-less Rockets, which meant the Rockets would advance. Now that they had their baptism of fire, or should I say rocket exhaust, Brandon Roy and Daboy must break away from the "Stranger" label and show the West the will to win.

#7: Chicago Bulls

Derrick Rose would've said, "Our Time is Here," and this crew will crack the Boston-Cleveland-Orlando axis at the top. That First Round performance last year wasn't a fluke. If that team started the season with THAT lineup, they could've been battling the big 3 at the top.

#6: Boston Celtics

For the Celtics, there is no yesterday, no tomorrow; only "Tonight." This is perhaps their last time to win a championship with the core of Allen, Garnett and Pierce. Next year will be the beginning of the end, and Rondo might be on the way out. There's no tomorrow for this team. It's tonight or bust.

#5: San Antonio Spurs

The Spurs are due for a championship. They alternate with an Eastern Conference team, and last year didn't happen, so Pop got injected in fresh blood so that hoops fans will be bored with "Here We Go Again" gameplan that has endeared the Spurs to the people of San Antonio, and no one else, except perhaps really old guys.

Note: At this point, you're probably looking for "one" team that went way too up the order.

#4: Cleveland Cavaliers

"Don't Forget" what happened last year. LeBron and his pals failed miserably on their quest to make David Stern's eyes transform into dollar signs. Stern must've been oh so pissed. He probably did that to make it appear that the NBA is not fixed. He can always do that this year.

#3: Orlando Magic

Ah, the "Magic" Kingdom, the home of Walt Disney World, Mickey Mouse, Dwight Howard and the half man half amazing half a decade ago Vince Carter. Would Carter destroy the magical fun that is Stan Van Gundy's always constipated but it really is not face? Was Hedo a better fit? Perhaps these questions won't matter as the Magic would shoot more threes than the Grizzlies shoot bricks.

#2: Dallas Mavericks

Lemme put it simply: the Mavs will bring the hoedown throwdown to their opponents.

#1: Los Angeles Lakers

Ah, the honeymoon stage, it's that time you supposedly give up what you've held for yourself for oh so long. Ah who am I kidding. Lamar and Khloe must've brought it on even before they got married. With different partners. Ah, the "Lovebug," Kobe wants to return to Eagle, Colorado.

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